Monday, January 25, 2016


or did they? another episode tonight!

1. when did you last sing a love song? what song? did you sing it to someone? the Toni Braxton biopic's trailer's got me singing "Another Sad Love Song" when i bake apple pies by the window sill. a little birdie lands on the sill and says i'm a little pitchy. always loved Toni Braxton, she deals in heartache, she ain't like those others, she deals in pain.

2. how do you want to spend a special day with your lover? stopping the venal conspiracy of a few elite men taking over America then the world. ISIS, Russia: smokescreens. Roswell: smokescreen. using the energy of the universe as fuel, scoop scars, the whole deal. and then afterwards we have some scoops of Baskin-Robbins mint chocolate chip.

3. what is the ideal number of texts/calls a couple should exchange in one day? why? the Mulder-to-Scully plan, you text one time a day just to let them know you're still alive, still breathing.

4. with regards to work, what do you enjoy doing again and again? getting abducted by aliens. each time i see the face more clearly. i'm different from the others in my rehab circle, i don't get the little green or grey men, i get abducted by one short balding man each time who looks like the top pic above. have you dreamt that man? yeah, me, too. that's what God looks like. God is going bald, that explains so much. or it could be mental conditioning, social engineering, dream manipulation by the government secretly putting fat into our sodas. classical conditioning was started by the Russians. just sayin'.

5. are you on track with your work career? are you where you want to be with education, training, position? ever since i could dream i've wanted to be a pop star. my best mates Punch and Judy went on to become a nurse and Air Force pilot, respectively, but i instead opted to stay in my basement my whole life with a microphone in my face eating apple pies that tasted like sawdust. one day i'll earn that bird's approval.

6. what do you want to avoid in your job/career? peaking too soon. i want my first #1 single to come when i'm 100 years old so i'm mature enough to handle it.

7. money---do you have enough? as long as i have enough money to care for my cats, i'm good. and like maybe one indulgence per week, one KFC Nashville Hot Chicken a week, the tenders with the pickles. biscuit game buttery. when i can't eat well i can at least watch Daym Drops on youtube.

8. on Valentine's Day do you usually buy your loved one a romantic gift or a practical, usable gift? both. the Red String of Fate..................................which can also be used for shibari.

9. are you being paid fairly? yes seeing as i do nothing.

10. what's the most money you've ever given away? one million dollars, loan to Trump.

bonus: what's the biggest personal change you've ever made? the day i said fuck it and shaved my head. i felt free for the first time in my life. i started getting into religion again, i watched Bill Maher religiously. i started getting into politics again, 24/7 with 24.



Jules said...

Unbreak my heart, my sweet. The red string is a poignant Valentines gift along with one text saying, “I’m tied up at the moment.” *)

the late phoenix said...

juli mah dahlin: white catsuits make everything better. that Red String is quite versatile, you can use it as wrapping paper for your gifts, unless the gift is itself the Red which case you wrap it in the Blue String of Bodaciousness *)