Tuesday, September 22, 2015


1. my favorite part of my current daily routine is___________ i have a confession to make....i do leg day twice instead of leg day and then arm day. my legs are fucking buff.

2. __________ toilet paper is okay. brown and smelly. that's just the new pumpkin-spice-scented toilet paper.

3. _________ is my nervous habit. despite everything that's happened, i signed up for the Cloud.

4. today i am thankful for ___________ an Update i downloaded that's been downloading for a month now...

5. i cannot wait to _______ fuck.

6. three things i'm looking forward to this Fall are _________ jumping into a big pile of orange leaves, football, and the Fall of Satan.

7. i want to dress in _________ for __________. my werewolf costume when i go see that new Goosebumps movie. which is to say i won't be wearing a shirt. i was thinking more modern werewolves.

8. my best friend is _________ lemonade.

bonus: would you take advice from a porn star? if yes, what would you want to hear? of course, they know the ways of the world better than anyone else. Sasha Grey actually responded to my comment on instagram once, that was the greatest day of my life.



Jules said...

I can see it now, the party; you, dressed in your sexy werewolf costume that's a little too tight around your buff legs. No matter, you look hot; you feel hot too, as it happens...god, you need a drink. You go to the bar, the bartender is dressed as Satan. As you approach he slips on some wet toilet paper and falls to the floor. You take a quick snap of this fallen angel on your camera and upload it to cloud and then to instagram. As you watch the likes come flooding in, someone sidles up to you and offers you a lemonade and when you look up, it's Sasha Grey. SHIT!....Precisely, all brown and smelly. You can't wait to fuck her, it's giving you Goosebumps! But...you can't get the bloody costume peeled from your legs! You run outside and jump up and down in the autumn leaves but it still won't come off. Despite everything that's happened, you give up and go home to watch football. It was nearly the greatest day of your life...

Jules said...


the late phoenix said...

mah dahlin i LOVE it when we collaborate on stories *)

Jules said...

Me too *)