TMIT: NOW TIRING

HAPPY LABOR DAY TO ALL THE WORKERS OUT THERE! ARE YOU WORKING HARD OR HARDLY PLAYING? ARE YOU PLAYING WITH YOURSELF?

1. best and worst thing about your job? okay this is ridiculous, i really need to get back out there. i need to go to auditions again and get constantly rejected to build up my stamina. i need to get weary of the creative establishment and set up my own experimental theatre...on my youtube channel. i need to learn how to plant my seeds everywhere...in case nothing works out and i'm forced into monastic farming.

2. this Labor Day you're filling up a cooler for a beach date. what do you put in it? sizzling hot dogs fresh off the grill, my heating pad turned ON, various hot drinks in thermoses: coffee, green tea, toddies, open-faced sandwiches filled to the brim with hot meat and ghost peppers, Big Red gum, a horn to summon Aquaman who was the first person to discover and use fire, my leather mankini and my banana hammock, i tie each end of my banana hammock to two palm trees and gently sway back and forth with the seabreeze.

3. sex, which is it? work, play, or necessity? sex is life........................literally.

4. best and worst thing about your sex life? best: it's loud and raunchy, untethered, taboo, reckless, full of bombast and risk and hot liquids and hot liquids in thermoses and involving boating and sweetness and light and firelight and fire and candlelight and candlewax. worst: it doesn't exist.

5. were you in a sorority or fraternity? did you have a good experience? all i'd ever wanted out of life was to be a frat douche, to have the keys to the campus, to wear a toga cos i switched majors to Classics. but no one would have me. i finally had to settle on the only Greek House that was located downtown, FDS, Fat Drunk Stupid i mean Gamma Delta Sigma.

6. did being in a frat help get you a job or ease your career with butter in any way? let's just say i ate so many interesting-flavored cookies i became a baker...on a porn set.

bonus: did you ever flash your tits/penis to your fellow frat/sorority bros/sisters? oh the initiation was grueling. first the whole tying it to the chandelier and swinging. that's what swinging from the chandeliers means, right? *cue Sia song* and then the "passing around of the peace pipe". and finally the duels in the open circle in front of all your brothers, mano manstick a mano manstick, there can only be one eye. my pirate penis lost to a ninja penis. it put my eye out.


THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED ON MY LAST DAY AT THE BEACH TODAY, CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK.





CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY