Wednesday, January 21, 2015


1. i am in need of an intervention for my obsession with ______. tongue

2. you are being auctioned off. what is your unique selling point? i don't kiss on the first date but i do fall in love on the first date. i won't go round the world with you unless i'm going round the world with you. i'm anal about anal.

3. on a scale of 1 to 5, how many stars did your parents give your current SO or favorite longest-lasting love? they were so relieved to have me out of the house they got star tattoos on their foreheads years before Mike Tyson made facial ink cool.

4. most of the meals i eat are a) micro-cooked b) oven-cooked c) made by someone else: made by someone else lovingly in the factory then frozen to be put in the microwave. these are culinary works of art that i'm always afraid i'll burn to a crisp if i try to cook them, so i leave them frozen.

5. when work/life stresses stress me out, nothing relieves the stress like: stress. i mean writing, especially when you have, like, fifteen minutes to come up with a brilliant story full of vibrant characters, pastoral settings, snappy one-liners and existential plots cos today is grocery day, too.


bonus: come up with and answer your own bonus question: I CAME up with these three unanswerable questions:

* why was fuck chosen as the ultimate swear word? it coulda easily been duck.
* what makes a question bonus? is it a bad-boy question that comes at the end cos it doesn't fit in with the rest of the questions in society? or do the rest of the questions shun the bonus question cos they're jealous of his work ethic and the bonus money he receives?
* the meaning of life is release. discuss. i'll join you later after i go to the bathroom.




Hedone said...

1. Umm...I don't want to know.

2. a circular conversation

3. I wanna see pics :D

4. hahaha. Effortless meals.

You know I'm going to work these bonus questions into a TMI post, right?

Thanks for the fun read.


Jules said...

The bonus questions you came up with here are my favourite :)

Ok, let’s discuss: release is the meaning of life. Ok. I’m going to re-lease my house and go and live with the garden gnome thus making me free of all possessions and released from materialism, except for the orange material dress I’m wearing because I want to be like the Dalai Lama. Llama’s make good pets and I would ride one of these instead of having a car which would release me from paying for gas. Gas from llama’s is very bad and stops people coming near you (or the llama spits in the case of those with no sense of smell) which releases the need to be effervescent and charming in order to make friends. *There is no order in friends; I just wanted to make that clear. There is only New Order: A group that released themselves from blue Mondays and/or The third Reich because it’s always three, which sounds like free which means liberty from all things making you three times more unidentifiable than you were before and yet more wholesome. I now become a fully satisfied unidentified flying object except llamas cannot fly. Maybe should have gone for a Unicorn but they don’t exist; or a hoverboard, ‘cept they are in the future and there is no future if time does not exist. Throw your watch away and exist in the moment which is always the now. In fact, do I even really exist anymore? If nobody can hear me or see me do I even make a sound when I fall from my llama? *)

the late phoenix said...

H: tongue is a delicacy. i'm honored if you do. HTMIT :)

juli: exactly, mah dahlin. i got that off the Evangelion commentary, one astute fellow was talking about the magnitude of release, the human nature of it which works up to the celestial nature of it, and it got me thinking about all the release around us: orgasm (sexual and non), rubber bands, the Big Bang, and death and stuff *)