TMIT: GAWD

24 is coming back! Jack is back...to kick someone's ass...maybe his own 'cause all the terrorists died long ago. i can't wait, i've been on a fucking binge-hangover-depression-withdrawal state ever since the show ended and that movie was promised and now it seems that the film is dead. i need my adrenaline fix, i hate politics, but i adore political thrillers. it might just be a few episodes, but that's okay, would have liked that movie, but i understand, Jack, pump me up now, it's long overdue, i still loved you in Melancholia, i understood and related to your character there deeply.

those first-kiss pics above are so Chemical Brothers "Swoon" music video, huh?

i'm so busy right now i turned into my cat during the night.

1. answer yes or no:

* i regret my first kiss: first kiss? what's that?
* i miss my first love: yes, and that is why i blog...
* i married my first love: i wish...wait, what's marriage again?
* i love somebody that didn't love me: without this on Earth, folks, there would be no music.

2. are you monogamous, polyamorous, or other? other. explanation: i have this weird thing for wizards with long flowing grey beards...

3. your partner wants to fuck and cum but you're tired from all of the May messageboards you have to scan and the tv-show reviews you have to do. you:

* snore
* barter like in medieval times
* that would never happen!

barter, i'm always willing to do anything that resembles medieval times, i have a special kinship with that time period. i know i always play around on my TMITs, but i'm being dead serious here, folks, i do believe i am now in 2013 the reincarnation of someone who lived in the Middle Ages, i love too much all of that sword and sorcery, knights, damsels in distress, dragons, moats, castles, chainmail, chastity belts, and horses, i take that stuff seriously, it's not just play. Dungeons and Dragons is a spirit journey for me, not a game. that movie with Cary Elwes as Robin Hood was eye-opening, not comedic, i wore tights from then on. when i went to a Medieval Times Dinner Theatre, i took the hand of one of the lovely wenches there, kissed it, kissed her on the cheek, on the cheek, not the mouth, no tongue, i am a Knight Templar Gentleman, and hugged her, wished her a Happy Mother's Day, for she is my Spirit Mother, my madre from times long ago in history, my reincarnated moms. she smiled at me and called the cops, the, uh, King's Guard.

4. does your partner mind if you masturbate in front of them while the two of you are in the same bed? i tell her to close her eyes because she faints at the sight of cum, it's like me with blood, i could never be an EMT. one time i told her to close her eyes and open her mouth and stick out her tongue, but she called the cops...the, uh, King's Guard.

5. describe your typical sexual romp:

* playful/tame
* outfit/toys
* i love to try new things and shock my partner.

i'm always in the shocking game, i tried to shock my partner one time with an electrical buzzer, y'know, the kind during the '50s you would get in a box of crackerjack? she admonished me for being obsolete, she told me to stop living in the past, she plucked the nostalgia arrows from out of my neck, then she called the cops. the cops liked my buzzer, they put it underneath my butt on a chair when i wasn't looking, my asshole is still red from all the current contact pressure. the cops just laughed and laughed...i had to laugh, too, it beats going to jail, right?...though in jail it's the same type of thing...violation of one's butthole.

bonus: what was your best-ever masturbation experience? why so? explain: it was the last time i did it this morning 'cause i knew it would really be the last time. my laundry bill is getting too high, i can't afford to jack anymore, though i love that 24 Jack is back. as you can see from the pic above, my mattress is filthy, it's gonna need a fumigation. i am simply too poor to masturbate anymore.

CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY

.