Wednesday, September 7, 2011



first, click on the pumps to pump up the series


the song has a WINTER WONDERLAND vibe, huh?

you've been tasked with arranging your friend's funeral. you

A) keep it light and airy, make it more of a party than a wake, fill the atmosphere with good food, healthy drink, clean ale, and dirty beer.

B) decide to go in the exact opposite direction and make it as somber, bleak, and respectful as possible. you get in only if you've known the deceased for at least ten years, you must wear all black from head to toe, men must wear top hat and tails, women must wear skirts that go down to their ankles and a veil. black ties only. gray tie for you, sir? well, okay, i'll let you in this time only because i like your sad face. uh, madam, the one with the short, tight skirt hugging your ass? yeah, sorry, you must leave, this is an occasion to get down on your knees to pray, not to get down on your knees, ya mean? oh, i didn't see your face clearly the first time i spoke to you...yeah, nevermind, you can you at seven afterwards for some pub pretzels?

C) strive for it to be the funnniest funeral you can make it. you try so hard to avoid the messy topic of death and eternal loss that you get serious, seriously fucking hilarious. the only patrons you let in are those who can tell a dirty joke that makes sense. no knock-knock jokes, i'll knock you out on your butt. no racist jokes, what do you think this is, a typical Tuesday? observation humor? beat Seinfeld and you're in...we are gonna LAUGH, people, life is funny, we are gonna chuckle away our problems if it kills us

D) study up on the Forever 27 Club and decide to cancel the funeral and work on perfecting that one musical riff which is gonna lead to that perfect song which will land you atop the charts and prepare you to join the Forever 27 Club...and let someone else deal with your funeral, like that pub 'n' pretzels babe




Shibari Reiss said...

love love love the shoes...

And depending on which friend.. I would choose the 1st one...

Celebrate the time you had with them... :)

Cheeky Minx said...

The shoes and Amy and your gorgeous tum? That's enough perfection to have me keeling over into my own box six feet under.

As for the funerary rites, I'd aim for a combination of A + B + C - leaving D, which would be words of filth and nude self-portraiture for me, for my post-wake drunken state...

Silly Mistress : ) said...

Meh, I have to say a mix of A and B. When my aunt died, I was a wreck. I know my aunt wouldn't have wanted a million people crying over her, but as crazy as she was, we all loved her.

Aphrodite said... those shoes! :) As for rites...probably A. Why be sad? The dead certainly don't want us crying over them. Respect and remembrance, yes...just no misery.

boneman said...

I want a bit of happiness at mine. I believe in reincarnation, so, by the time of the funeral, i'm probably breast feeding on Jennifer Aniston.
(omigod! I'de get a hard on, too, except my luck, I'll come back a woman)(well, at least I'll have breasts to play with...)
Meanwhile...a friend;s funeral?
the poem in Four Weddings and a Funeral

Pretty much sets the tone.

KaziG said...

Not that I'm a heels fan... but I do love those shoes! and of course the click-through to yumminess :)

I would go for A hoping that we could get some C in there... humour is healing, not that I would force anyone to laugh but it would be great if it happened. I believe in celebrating a life lived not mourning the inevitable.


Molly Rene said...

Fabulous shoes.

the late phoenix said...

shibari: celebrate...good times

cheeky: tum tum tum tum TUM!!! nude self-portraiture, it's such a lovely concept, huh? :*

silly: i haven't cried in, like, ten years, i forgot how to

goddess: you are a goddess! life=death=life, and the power goes out...

bone: mmmmm, jennifer aniston, *puts in a FRIENDS repeat*

kazi: yumminess > tumminess

molly: walking, talking,, no, not stalking ;)

Cougar in Training said...

Great shoes! I'd make the funeral as funny as possible, remembering all the good times. Laughter always helps me in uncomfortable situations.

Philosophia said...

nice song and lol awesome shoes. now can i see you wearing them? ;)

also, i pick option E. ;p


viemoira said...

I would try or C but in reality probably cry through all the jokes I attempted...

<3 viemoira

the late phoenix said...

cougar: laughter is the spice of life...or something like that

sophia: not much of a shoes person, i usually just walk around barefoot like a Cave Man most of the time, even outside

vie: laughter is the best medicine...ah, that's it, got it!!! :)