HNT: GONE

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first, click on The Room In The Water to wisp away this series




SECOND, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE




now, folks, now my babies, be so kind as to remember and share in the comments the one person you currently miss the most when they're gone.

is it the one who got away? or the one you never chased? the one who secretly loves you from afar? or the one who knowingly stalks you from afar? is it the ex from college or high school? the first kiss from grade school...or the first kiss from college (TMI)? please, go ahead, who is that special person? describe in detail, leave not a detail out, no one reads this blog, so your confession is safe with me, Father Phoenix

and with that, ladies and gentlemen...i bid you good night...*bows deeply*

*audience claps loudly with one hand*






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ONE GOOD THING TO COME OUT OF HURRICANE IRENE...

if you study the progression, the pattern of the pics, you'll see a certain story of mine emerging...







CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT WHY I RENEWED MY SUBSCRIPTION TO THE WEATHER CHANNEL







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HNT: TRON...'NUFF SAID

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click on Quorra for #3 in the series


THEN, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE





thanks to the fine folks at netflix, i recently got my hands on and watched TRON LEGACY. all the purist nerds wanted this one to fail, but you know what, it's a pretty darn good little movie, not a masterpiece, but pretty pretty, y'know? did i enjoy it? thoroughly. was i jealous of it? yes. let me explain...

ever since around the age of seven, the hack writer in me has taken over my brain. see, when i watch a piece of fine filmmaking like a STAR WARS or something, the voices in my head come out and demand to know why I didn't write STAR WARS. i tell myself that i have the creativity to, but do i have the drive? don't get me wrong, it's not that i'm jealous of others' brilliant work, it's just that i always think to myself whenever i walk out after an epic movie that I have the tools to write such a screenplay. i could do it, i really believe i could craft such a story and fill it with memorable characters and memorable lines if only my diseased thoughts didn't get in the way and my shut-in instincts didn't hold me down once again. thus, i've never really been able to enjoy a classic film 100% free of stress. on the one hand, i do enjoy the film like the rest of the humans in the theater, it's pleasurable. but on the other hand, in my secret world, i'm cursing at myself---silently, thank god---cursing at myself, berating myself for not having come up with that idea before the other writer did. man, i'm fucked, but y'know what? even if all i do is watch great creations and never create a masterpiece myself, that's still a good life, huh? at least i sure hope that reasoning quiets down the voices, huh? ya feel me?

olivia wilde...now there's a distraction from the mind chaos. don't lie, you were thinking it, too, while you watched, what did the jeff bridges character do for all those years living in that computerized house with just olivia in her skintight uniform there as a companion? yeah, they did that, it's a disney film i know, but they did THAT.

as you know, i'm into all music that's techno, industrial, and computery, so i adore Daft Punk's work of the TRON LEGACY soundtrack here. what are your favorite movie soundtracks?





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YOU'RE SEXY!!! YOU'RE SAXY!!!

FIRST, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE






then, recount your deepest-held feeling/memory of george michael, be it proud and hopeful or sad and tragic, be it a prom party or a bathroom stall...






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HNT: HAND OFF

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click on trent reznor's Presence for #2 in the series





THEN, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE





my right hand is my best friend...

wait, hold on....woah, whoa, relax, breathe in...okay, let's start again, i'm ready

as trent teaches us all, the arm of god will break through from the clouds and push us down, hold us down, keep us down from our own break-throughs. this seems right, but none of this will matter when [INSERT COUNTRY HERE] takes over. we must learn to embrace the hand that cums for us, whether it comes to give us a hand-out, some food, or to stroke us off, a gentlewoman of the night is the correct parlance i believe. it's all good, it's all gravy, it doesn't matter in the end. you're screwed from the start, so why not polish those screws to make them the most pleasurable, head-banging-against-the-headboard screws of your life? shiny things, i turn my head for shiny things. i guess what i'm trying to say is that when i type, i live. when i type, it's proof that i'm still breathing, with the hand of God Himself holding my head down, touching my hair, my awesome, silky smooth, shampooed-and-conditioned hair...what better position to be in all the time than that, huh?







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DREAM DAY

FIRST, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE







a dream day, once in a lifetime for most folks, never happening for others, but one our fevered brains all jump up and down over. that's when you wake up close to suicide but something unexpected happens, well, someone unexpectedly happens, some sexy stranger bumps into you and scoops you up out of your doldrums. after the necessary, contractual six hours of hard fucking and bodily fluids ruining the sheets, you two get down to brass tax and discuss each others' dreams. the whole scenario seems like a dream, maybe it is a dream, maybe you're asleep right now, but does it matter? if it happens in your subconscious, it still happens, right? you still feel it. oh, just to conclude, after all the airy talking about the weather and whether or not we're actually real, you two part cordially...and have your first real kiss goodbye, those other kisses while you were fucking don't count, that's just lusty instinct.

what's your dream day? describe it. where are you? what are you contemplating when that mysterious stranger enters the scene? what does he/she say that are the perfect words for that particular moment in time, that particular situation in your life? who is this beautiful stranger? someone famous? or your next-door neighbor whom you've always wanted to heartily bang? we're becoming amateur screenwriters here, my babies, consider this a free class! people, people, it's free, what do you expect? oh, lastly, remember the first rule in all good writing: NEVER leave out the juicy parts...





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HNT: STELLAR GROWTH

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first, click on Yggdrasil the Tree of Life to start up the series



THEN, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE





when a life ends
it's all over, really really over
the accumulation of dreams, hopes, and wishes
comes to a strict end, black
the tree which kept you company as a youth
whose braches you forced to carry your treehouse
is now the Tree of Life
it has passed you by
it has forgotten your touches when you were building
but has It forgotten your hugs?
enjoy the melody
enjoy this melody while you can
for soon, you will have never existed
what will be your last thought?
thinking of that hot summer night
when you curled up under a tree's leaf canopy
and thought about your last thought





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HOW TO WIN EVERY SINGLE INTERNET ARGUMENT YOU FIND YOURSELF IN

CLICK HERE AND KEEP THIS HANDY IN YOUR BACK POCKET WHENEVER YOU GET STUCK








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HNT: CRAZY LIKE A FOX

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first, click on the Fox and the Hound tappin' the keg to gently end the series

THEN, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE







every man must walk his Path alone, not saunter along the Appalachian Trail to rendezvous with his Argentine mistress. he must travel to where he's never gone before, don his geeky Star Trek suit, go full-on nerd, shun all female attention, and escape to his secret hiding place. there, he must meditate until he comes to the Enlightenment Moment that meditation is a complete waste of time and energy. he must enter his mind, then his inner mind, then his third eye's mind's mind. he will be so lost in thought that he will appear stoned, but don't wake him up when he's in this state, or you'll catch the paranoia as well. only certain people can make crazy cool, like Sheen. when he arrives at his destination, deep within the moldy, unseen crevices of his brain's imagination, he will finally jot down all of his ideas for novels that he's kept secret even from his mother. he will store up all of his screenplays for failed television pilots that have collected dust in the apartments of all the hookers he's visited. he will finally say a friendly hello to all the leprechauns, dwarves, and elves that live near the river by the babbling brook located above his right ear. as for the trolls? the internet trolls? oh, well, Fuck those guys, but as for the cute little trolls with the blue spiky hair? yeah, those pixies, those guys? well, he'll say hello to them, too...








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SMALL FRY

CLICK HERE AND HAVE A LAUGH




WHAT FRIES FRIES?





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