TMIT: WILDIN' AT MACY'S/THOUGHTS BREWIN'

thoughts and prayers.

1. have you ever had sex in the changing room of a store? ampm is technically a store, right? remember that porn site BitchMobile? i'm sure it's long discontinued by now but their changing-room video was by far their most popular. the adrenaline rush of maybe getting caught by the maître d' clerk up front with your next set of pants churns the cum gooeyer. y'know ever since i was a kid i've always been fascinated with 7-Eleven. but i wasn't sure why. i could never put my hanging-fingernail tiny thumb on it. was it simply the concept of frozen Coke while playing the Ghouls 'n Ghosts arcade box and pretending you knew skateboard lingo when the boys with the long hairs belled in? no, it had to be more. as an adult i didn't put away childish things and found it. 7-Eleven is Japanese! this whole time i had no idea. that explains everything!

2. ever blindfolded your partner for sex or have you been blindfolded during sex? let's see how long it takes for my new computer here to stall. i saved right now just in case. also i'm cracking my bedroom window which i NEVER open. too fucking hot. as in my bedroom lights are too fucking hot. gotta go environmental but dull. spoilers: Sharapova completes the comeback. is reputation the final currency? y'know the whole blindfold thing comes in waves. for a period it's hot as hell and then it dims. and then it comes back. many believe the 50 Shades author invented blindfolded sex but it's been around since at least Harry Houdini. Houdini used it on his tricks...

3. who out there likes to be tied up for sex? yes, who out there? instagram DM me.

4. shower sex, yea or nay? only with a rainfall showerhead. i swear, before i leave this green earth, well this blue earth, i will experience the ecstatic joy of a rainfall showerhead. in a lonely white-tiled futuristic Tokyo apartment or something. see-through glass looking out onto the video-game con promenade. at neon night. and i got one pachinko token left, the one with the falling heart, taped to my naked body.

5. ever done a striptease for a lover? i've always had a hard time with the word striptease. i could never picture it the sexy way it's meant to be pictured. never registered. i got abiding trauma from being teased at school i suppose.

bonus: what are you thinking? the money is running out. like a sieve. soon it will be too late. not long now...

i need a damn desklamp!

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