Monday, August 21, 2017


for the longest i thought colander was spelled with two Ls. Happy Eclipse Day, my mooninite babies! probably already over. it was a once-in-a-lifetime event and you missed it. the next one won't be for such a long time you'll be dead. or a short time depending on how you define it. this either wrapped you like a Hollywood Bowl blanket in the cold knowledge of the eternally expansive magnificence of the celestial heavens and your puny significance in it, or you became even more isolated cos you had no one to share it with. hopefully these kinds of cosmic events bring people together. at least for two minutes. it was so disheartening to see the return to politics after the A block's commercial break. WARNING!!!: do not wear those red-and-blue ear-hanger paper glasses you get for outdoor drive-in 3D '50s monster movies. in fact do not look at the sun at all. now or ever. stay indoors where you won't be roasted alive. it's too dark to see anything. i prefer a little dusk. next time you're at a sunset whip your head around 360 degrees. Bill Nye is the greatest sex-ed teacher i ever had. see that's the thing about the universe: it doesn't care whether you believe in it or not, it keeps going. and it doesn't care about you. unless you become a pagan. come on, you know there is only one religion. today is the day you give in to your long-held secret desires. become an eclipse-chaser and get married on national tv. did a fluffy cloud obstruct your view? curse the pagan gods and fill your gullet with Denny's moon-dollar pancakes and Chiquita bananas, that's all you can do. as Jerry Lewis once said, "you better laugh cos the alternative is not funny." that man consumed a million pills, one more than me. make today the day you start living. make today the day.

look at this pic. again. closely. see it?

1. for you, can sex be separated from love? only with a colander
2. can sex be separated from caring? that's called porn. although porn has produced marriages.
3. men: does sex seem to be something you can never get enough of and are constantly seeking or thinking about? what was that? sorry, i got distracted. i was talking to myself. i just wish the eclipse had lasted longer, y'know? like i wanted the whole day to be in darkness. imagine how the ancients would have reacted to that! they, like the rest of the animals, would have really been frightened. fret not, my beautiful ancestors, the sun will return someday. i really don't want to go back to work tomorrow again.
4. women: is sex secondary to intimacy, physical closeness, and commitment? i always wanted to be a woman. to know what that would feel like, be like in that body. let's do this, Doctor Who! that's my one regret. then again maybe i was in a past life and i don't remember.
5. who is more discriminating in choosing sexual partners---you or your significant other? if i had a significant other i would be better at choosing...cos i would have actually chosen one.

bonus: who is more likely to take on additional sexual partners, you or your significant other? whoever knows that the password is Fidelio...

long day. i'm sleepy, hungry, and hot. but not too hungry, i only ate some. oh i almost forgot! my Eclipse playlist: Dark Side of the Moon, "Total Eclipse of the Bad Moon Rising", and of course Smashing Pumpkins's "Plume"



May More said...

It actually took me a while to see the two images in the TMI picture this week - I kinda thought it was like a heartbeat line - for some reason. Going blind in my ageing years!
In the UK we had a major eclipse in 1999, or was it 2000 - anyway I was in a place where you could see it in all its darkened glory. I remember some crazy guy decide he was going to use his chain saw to cut down a tree right at the glorious moment. Very off putting noise! The other sound I remember was that of a cockerel when daylight came again.

Jules said...

I see lovers and I see frisson, my sweet. I also see the long arm of death. And I see a prehistoric animal.

Intimacy, sex, physical closeness and commitment are all separate things. They should be used separately, yet all should be present.

In England, there’s a permanent eclipse. *)

the late phoenix said...

may: yeah, me, too. I didn't see the necks for awhile. and I'm a vampire. ha! cloud cover is one thing, but a chainsaw is just plain unlucky. this is all making me want to quit my job and become a full-time eclipse-chaser. the next one's in Mexico. I have no money to travel. so I guess I'll just rent Y Tu Mama Tambien again.

mah darling dahlin!: the prehistoric animal is a brown cow. and she ain't happy.

frisson is such a beautiful word to pronounce.

everyone has a permanent eclipse. in their heart. seeing Bonnie Tyler perform on that cruise-ship was both exhilarating and a little sad.