Friday, August 4, 2017



* the whole left side of my face is bleeding out so bear with me

* got some invokana in me so i'm better. no actually it was Vanquish. PLEASE consult your doctor first.

* this is my dream house. Frank Lloyd Wright meets Stephen King. one motel light in a dense forest surrounded by Maine fog thick as peas. the environment carved into the woodsy abode instead of the other way around. steely oak beams. for folk who want to get away from the suburbs.

* i only wear socks now. there is no more need for shoes in society if you have a computer.

* that's Robin's kid. this will make sense later.

* you know you're rich when the guardrails on your staircase are made of bulletproof glass. i never lived in a second-storie house in my life. i never knew what it was like to have my own set of stairs. i never experienced that odd room that's formed in the box underneath the staircase, you know the one, so small only a troll can fit in. no room even for a light. it's supposed to be for rags and sieves but trolls don't like breathing in dirty air, they have big sensitive noses. opened only with one of those rusty keys with no handle shaped like an uppercase L. L for lucky. if i had met my troll, my life would be different now.

* Robin is not gonna go easy on you...................cos you stole Robin's husband and had her kid. that kid in the bedroom? that was supposed to be Robin's kid.

* attacking the hill like it's Robin's stupid face and stupid hair

* crushing the flats. flat like Robin. you have a nicer shape. your body is bodacious. show your butt again.

* that's model sweat...

* breaking away from the pack...the peloton if you will

* that friend in the other city? she's keeping an eye on Robin for you, in the other city.

* this is how you make a better life for marrying up.

* son: mommy, why is my blanket yellow? i said i wanted red like Superman.
woman: can't, red is Robin's favorite color.
son: how about blue then?
woman: you want to be like Linus?

* my husband goes barefoot like me. that's what attracted me to him.

* who is this girl?

* jigglies and a red knob: CLICK HERE

* that red knob stops North Korea's missiles.

* seriously tho i wonder about that cavernous Peloton studio in New York. i mean these are obviously Broadway actors who pedal in the dark for hours in front of a green-screen screaming out your name to keep you motivated. it's weird for them.

* before there was Lance there was Greg LeMond. he was the big fish, the superstar, the Olympian if it wasn't for Russia, the three-time winner of the Tour de France. he was the big bike everyone rode. i distinctly remember this Taco Bell commercial from my youth: CLICK HERE

* Greg LeMond hates Lance Armstrong with the fire of a thousand suns. he despises doping. Lance stole his spotlight and irrevocably destroyed the sport. a sport hanging by a thread anyway. oh well, there's still Floyd Landis.

* the one person i feel most sorry for in all this is a man whose name i know not of. but he's the old British guy who commentates all the big cycling events. you can tell from the falter in his voice when he speaks of the sport's rich history he loves bikes more than himself. he once regarded Lance as his kind of son, the man who would propel the sport finally into fame. but it was infamy rather. he called Lance "the Texan", the cool man in the cowboy hat. but this beautiful British soul is crying today into his motel pillow as he has seen his sport and the Event once described in dulcet French landscapes and windy windswept roads and flowers and congratulatory kisses and Robin Williams on the sidelines smiling and cheering on, reduced to a laughingstock.

* relevant: CLICK HERE

* Robin would have found that funny. Williams.


happy weekend

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