Monday, December 21, 2015


1. have you had major surgery? what type? root canal. i think. i fainted before the procedure and woke up ten hours later with gas breath on a couch by a plastic plant. soothing elevator music broke the otherwise silent room. i needed a candy break like all humans do and remember popping an everlasting gobstopper into my mouth and feeling no pain in my tooth as i bit down. that gobstopper is still in my mouth...

2. have you died and been resuscitated? yes. there's nothing on the other side.

3. do you have surgery scars that embarrass you? where? i have these two bolts sticking out of either side of my neck. the kids in my class make fun of me cos my dad is crazy. Charlie Brown comics hurt my feelings when i see BLOCKHEAD in bold type. i eat my spaghetti with a spoon cos i'm deathly afraid of forks. i eat my spaghetti cold cos i'm deathly afraid of anything heated. i enjoy the open countryside, though. oh, and my skin is green. that shouldn't matter in this day and age but it still does. it's not easy being green.

4. do you have a scar, on your body, of which you are proud?


5. have you ever played doctor and nurse as foreplay for sex? which were you---doctor or nurse? i played Dr. Freud. or no, wait, i played a cigar. a plain ol' ordinary cigar.

bonus: do you like bdsm medical play? what about it excites you? when i was in the mental hospital, i remember the nurse there giving me a wink and a smirk when she told me it was time for my sponge bath. my leg hurt. no, not that leg, my right leg and i didn't know why. i gotta say, this scenario was the furthest thing from sexy. it was embarrassing and uncomfortable. see this is why porn could never work in the real world. the pizza guy really came just to deliver your pizza, he's pinching pennies to make it through college, he's not pinching anything else. there is a definite difference between fantasy and reality.


happy holidays to all my babies out there! i meant my readers, i don't have kids.


Jules said...

Scars, scars we all have a many. It's what makes us brilliant, Dr. Cigar.
But which do you prefer, fantasy or reality?

Happy Christmas, my sweet. May it bring you eggnog, nogegg, sparkly delights and deep meaning. Thank you for a 2015 full of riveting reads and for your continuous support on my end *)

the late phoenix said...

of course, mah dahlin, we brilliant writers have to stick together. somebody's gotta defeat J.K. Rowling ;) :* *) love ya <3