Monday, December 14, 2015


1. do you access the internet on your own computer or a shared computer? shared computer?! how could that possibly work?!
2. do you regularly browse websites you'd rather your SO or mother not know about? i don't want them snooping. i don't want them finding out i love Snoopy more than Woodstock, they're hippies you see. there is nothing more terrifying than when hippies finally get angry.
3. do you have browser bookmarks for sites you'd prefer no one else know about? that's a thing? that could have saved my first marriage.
4. do you clear your browser history? if yes, how often? i'm doing it right now. i do it after every keystroke typed...
5. do you use incognito windows for some of your browsing? i tried to once but a pop-up came up instead of a gif of Edward Snowden shaking his head.
6. do you overwrite deleted files? i'm always scared of accidentally causing WWIII by pushing the wrong buttons.
7. how often do you total-shut-down your home computer? tablet? i don't have to worry about my home computer, it's so old it does it for me by not working three times a day. my tablet jams up all the time, i think it has to do with me not being in the Cloud. i tried to join the Cloud but got a naked Edward Snowden shaking his head.
8. do you have one or more pseudonyms on the web? how many? what do you use them for? i work for the FBI. my name is Fox Mulder. you'll be hearing about what i've been up to, my exploits, next month...
9. how many email accounts do you have? why? many. i'm happily married but sometimes Scully wants that booty call at 3 in the morning, you know how it is.

bonus: do you use any of the following sites? which ones? what makes them work for you? snapchat, chaturbate, okcupid, ashley madison, tinder, down, 3nder, pure:

that 3nder looks promising. see i'm really into Three's Company. i cosplay Three's Company on the weekends. i used to do Ender's Game but, y'know, not anymore. there aren't that many cons that cater to Three's Company nerds so we mostly hang out at the IHOP next to the arena. i cosplay as Jack Tripper on the least i think i'm cosplaying...........



JustLikeHeaven said...

Your answers were wonderful, you had me cracking up!

the late phoenix said...

JLH: thank you so much. i figure we all need a respite from the holiday stress. happy holidays to you and yours :)

Jules said...

I’m getting the distinct impression (though I could be wrong and it has been known on rare occasions and blood moons) that the person asking these questions has a singular focus.

I think the answer is, in fact, one shared computer so then we wouldn’t have to clear anything and could all talk at the same time. Maybe one big, live Sir I like God that stood in the sky answering prayers. You heard it hear first : The road less complicated. *)

the late phoenix said...

juli: my sweet, i love those once-in-a-blood-moons when i put on my goth makeup, tiptoe outside, stand in the middle of the town square, and howl. it's Christmastime so none of the villagers are there, they're all wintering in Florida *)