Monday, March 2, 2015

TMIT: DRESSISTENTIAL TIMES, THE ALIEN SALUTE UNITES THE HUMANS















yeah i mean how could they have possibly determined what belongs here and what belongs there? what's white and gold to an executive is just gold to a peasant. this is how situations end up black and blue. stay gold, people, colorblind or not. don't let the light trick you, you're stronger than that, i believe in you. how can a system work when one group of people have an empirical absolute and the other have an empirical absolute that is scientifically diametrically-opposed to the first? is it first come first serve? speaking of coming.....................later. why continue blogging at all? nobody's forcing me. if there is no absolute truth, if it's all relative reality, why seek out new worlds, new, long, record long, expansive, wedding-dress trains of thought? to serve man is not a cookbook, it's a drivers' manual, it's a privilege, and absolutely right. somedays i cuddle, somedays i fuck, somedays i get fucked. i'm waiting for that one sweet day when i get cuddled. it's a fine day for freedom. what is Heaven? the Heavens? some great men have already figured that out. i never knew Spock, Data was my Spock, Data was my Spock-inspired imaginary friend. who is beyond the unknown universe? the continuing trek amongst the stars, or the cells of the space baby who will grow up to rebel against his Father and become a hologram instead, not a doctor. not a doctor. cos i'm happy........overplayed, deadened, but one thing that song got right was the low-lying beat, the tranquil mood, the moody atmosphere, the ambiance/decor, happiness isn't exuberant, it's mellow.

1. have you ever had sex in three or more positions in one sitting? name the positions: standing, vanilla, and rusty venture.

2. have you ever had sex continuously for more than one hour? was it all intercourse or other methods of sexual pleasure? i've had sex continuously now for decades. no intercourse, just licking. it started in the back of a senior-high-school-prom limo and never stopped. it all began innocently enough, she was licking on one of those Willy Wonka push-up ice cream things. and then things got Wonky.

3. have you ever planned an entire day to sex and sexual-related activities? (with breaks for eating)? we incorporate the food in the plan, only sexy food allowed, like whipped cream, butta, prune juice, and boysenberry syrup but no pancakes if you catch ma drift, wink wink. no dishes, we use our dripping naked bodies as plates. is that white stuff what i think it is? yep, sugar or salt, not coke. we cook dinner by candlelight and then use the candlewax for dessert.

4. have you ever been so loud/boisterous while fucking that the neighbors commented/complained? i broke the bed once when i was with my vampire bride. sure the neighbors complained, one hairy dude in particular, but he jus' hatin', i got his woman, he green, he eatin' the peanut butter and jelly. actually what do werewolves eat? like when they're not eating people?

5. have you ever had your sexual style/technique/skill openly praised by someone? yes, by Taylor Lautner.

6. have you ever gotten really turned on by saying or hearing dirty talk? not my own cos i'm just silly. but by beautiful, smart, clever, hot-as-fuck women i know and love, yes, when they do it, write it on their blog, that gets me in the low-lying mood. you know who you women are, let's do sex tonight!

bonus: what word(s) said during sex totally turn you off or distract you from the task at hand? "that's not my vagina, that's your hand."

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7 comments:

Jack and Jill said...

You and I might have taken the same limo to prom.

- Jack

the late phoenix said...

j and j: i never knew what to do with the plastic push-up cylinder-on-a-stick after the ice cream. i figured time is a flat circle, so i kept them (after washing them).

AVY said...

Hah, that's your hand. So strange.

/ Avy
http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com




the late phoenix said...

avy: my hand's been places. my hand's seen things...

Cheeky Minx said...

And I know that you know you're pure gold, baby. Slathered in creamy whip. And ready for the rusty venture.

:*

Jules said...

Phoenixeseseses! You see white and gold? Really? Promise? I thought it was just me! Now I know it's we. I feel like I belong again...

3: What about Liptons hell tea and cinnabons? Eh?

4: They eat burnt toast and haggis.

6: OMG. I don't fall into this category.....WTF do I do now? I've never written anything sexy in MY LIFE. The hot babes have stole my Phoenixeseseses...I take my hat off to them...no, wait...that's not sexy...I take my thong off to them...but...if I was REALLY sexy I wouldn't be wearing one, would I? see...I'm just no good at hot prose. *)


the late phoenix said...

cheeky: thank you, my beautiful, this week was rough and tough without the tumble or tumblr. i am quickly going mad. i really need a vacation :*

juli: 4. and fullmoonpies for dessert.

6. this got me hot. hot prose is hot but there's one thing hotter than hot prose: hot poetry by candlewax, uh, candlelight *)