TMIT: IT TOOK ME 20 YEARS TO NOTICE THE WORD "BEAT" IN THE BEATLES

sorry, folks, i'm not feeling good today, i'm in depressed mode, i was minding my own business last night playing dice on the corner in the back where the liquor store butts up against the church when some dude went out of his way to come up to me and call me a garbage ass. my feelings have been hurt ever since.

1. from erotica to sex blogs everyone is talking about their intense orgasms. are you experiencing the same level of intense orgasmic waves? wait, the stuff that's typed on sex blogs is REAL?!

2. real sex versus film/magazine sex. it seems when you experience real sex, it just isn't as glamorous as the sex depicted in the naughty films or even the classic films. you don't orgasm like that. what have you done to cultivate real sexual pleasure in your life? i'm still holding out hope that i will get to experience sex the Last Tango In Paris way. i've got my butter ready.

3. in the last 3 years, has your sexual pleasure waned/stayed the same/increased, enhanced, improved, intensified?: the history books only started taking written records a day ago. as for yesterday, i did experience an unheard-of burst of sexual energy...oh no, sorry, i think that was just me eating cereal.

4. if you cum more intensely than your partner, do you feel guilty and try to make up for the sexual deficit, or just go with the flow and be thankful for what you've got? sorry, but this question is getting me more depressed. i don't have a girlfriend and my Real Doll left me. i'd like to cum, but it just isn't the same anymore. i feel so guilty about so many things. i should have been straight-up with my Real Doll from the start and told her that this was a temporary arrangement, that it would only last for about a minute or so.

5. how important is it for you and your main squeeze to have simultaneous orgasms? very/somewhat/i'd be nice to once and awhile explode at the same time: i want to explode...at the same time...i want to go out a bedroom legend...what a way to go! we'd both cum so hard and so long and so simultaneously that the force would rip apart the space-time continuum and our united bodies would float up to Heaven. stories would be written about the super-couple that we were, stuff would be written on sex blogs...that stuff would be deleted because it was on sex blogs and none of that stuff is true.

bonus: is having an orgasm the same as sexual pleasure?: no, two different things. if you orgasm, you're lucky, count yourself amongst The Chosen and pray. if you don't or can't orgasm, it's okay, you weren't Chosen, but you can still hang out with me and eat cereal.

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