EAT THE WILD MUSHROOM

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK, THEN TALK TO ME, I'M BORED





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TNH: CUOTE COCK CUOTES III

*CLICKY CLICKY*


click on the steampunk girl up above there, she's real i think, for the second application of war paint, the war of love, and the third in the series

CUOTE=cute + hot, CUOTES=quotes

my cock
in the white sock
is as tall as a tree
as erect as the north pole
and ready to tap your tits hard
my tip will caress your nipple
your beautiful body wet with dew, morning dew, it was wet with Mountain Dew
last night, remember that? between that and my tongue, that was three showers' worth of sex play
washed off in the middle of the sunrise, 3AM, when nothing good happens at a club
morning water droplets dotting your pristine nude body work of art,




GLISTENING (CLICK HERE),




glistening like the fabled city on the hill
your body is the answer to all of my trembling dreams
and worried prayers
i know that Nathan from Dethklok has a nightmare about having to dine at the Y with a woman,
but i gladly oral your moist cunt, i am your slave,
if you command me to spit in your gash more, more spit like what Jenna Lewis from Survivor's sex tape teaches us, more spit, more spit in your glorybox 'til my mouth runs dry,
i'll do it, babes, i'll do it for you, only you

kissing every inch of your rather large bosom, i can sure pick 'em, huh?
something's happening
the darkness which initially attracted us has transmuted to a kind of glue
a glue comprised of my cum and your vagina juice
a glue which hardens our already-hardened wall, hardened from crime and injustice
we're walled in from the world and yet free to be each other
something's happening,
we are sappening...





CLICK HERE FOR THE NAUGHTY HANGOUT






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TMIT: BAD OL' SUMMERTIME

um, haven't you heard? i'm a goth, so, yeah, going to a beach with a cloudless sky and 100-degree heat is just about the worst thing possible for my pale ghost skin, but i'll still play along:

PIC 2 FROM TOP: this is what i do to supplement my income during the summers

PIC 9: this is what i became after Ashley dumped me

PIC 15: Ashley and I in happier times

PIC 16: what i did to Ashley that fateful day, i'm sorry, i swear there was spinach in between her teeth

PIC 18: our last sunset together, the end of the world

PIC 19: that's me, i've been so distraught ever since i almost bit it from a seat belt



1. summer is a time to kick back, relax, and chill. what is your favorite way to relax when the warm weather hits? i absolutely despise the sun, i wish it would go away and leave the world as it appears to be already: cold. but this way, the weather would reflect the overall world mood.

2. have you ever been to an outdoor drive-in movie theatre? my first date was at a drive-in. what is your memory of these classic outdoor amphitheatres?: on my first date, i was in a hole, but that's neither here nor there. all my sun-damaged ears can remember is that classic line from one hot Alanis Morissette, "go down on you in a theatre...", i've been trying to model my life after that immortal call to action ever since...

3. have you ever had a summer fling? how did it develop and why did it end? i tried once to have a summer-school fling at college with this cute little mousey brunette i met while working at the library, she had the cutest butt in those one-size-too-small-for-her jeans she always used to wear. i imagined one day at work passing her a note which had writ on it my precise feelings for her: that i thought she was rad and we were the perfect couple for a no-strings-attached-once-fall-hit summer fling, but alas, i only wrote that note in my mind. i talked with her once more that summer, about canned oranges.

4. board shorts and bikinis leave something to the imagination, but have you ever tried a nude beach? hey, remember bermuda shorts in the '80s? man, i was all over that fad, that was the one fad that i totally nailed, that i was on time for, actually i think i was a little ahead of my time there, my mom bought me these weird new bermuda shorts things, i didn't want to wear them 'cause i thought i'd get a tomato in the face again at school as usual, but i pranced down the school halls all fucking stylin' in my bermuda shorts and all the girls gasped and all the bullies wanted to be my friend. yeah, too bad looking back now those bermuda shorts were rather silly and all fads must come to an end.

5. what are your thoughts on the Speedo and the Wicked Weasel? i want to get my Speedo stuck in your Wicked Weasel...seriously...

6. the hot-ass weather is perfect to "get busy" to. have you ever? do tell: we goths hide during summer, we descend to our man caves, hibernate, and wait out the searing heat with just our godless prayers and our custom lunch boxes. we fuck, though, but we fuck amongst ourselves, so i guess that doesn't count.

7. sunrise or sunset, which is your summer favourite? god i love the spelling of favourite, so sophisticated!!! i prefer the sunset, for that is what we'll all see when time stops and we have to crowd into our broken churches for comfort.

8. what is the one summer delight that really quenches your thirst? how about your lust? TWO WORDS THAT ANSWER BOTH QUESTIONS: BATH SALTS

bonus: summertime is the one time to get out outdoors. where would you like to have sex? beach? picnic? camping? beach only with a goth babe. picnic only if they served bath salts and canned oranges. camping only if i got my one missing Merit Badge which completed the set: my Nude Beach Badge



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HAVE YOU TENDED YOUR GARDEN TODAY?

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE, YOU UNIQUE, ONE-OF-A-KIND, WILL-NEVER-BE-SEEN-AGAIN, SPECIAL INDIVIDUAL YOU





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TNH: CUOTE COCK CUOTES II

*CLICKY CLICKY*

click on that peak pic just up above there for the first application of war paint on my body, the war of love

CUOTE = cute + hot, CUOTES = quotes

my cock
my cock inside this white sock
you peeled away the sock seductively,
you wetted my mushroom head sufficiently,
i'm ready for phase two,
preparing by kissing up your ass, licking in all the secret spots,
natural lubricant works better than the store brand,
though Walmart is a good brand

our naked bodies have never been more intertwined,
we sense each other by animal instinct, as a NUMBER ONE BLIND (CLICK HERE),
which seems to work better after rationality has failed,
we became one with that last lick because we had to face the ugly world---
two vs. Earth, Earth wins every time, but we remain huddled up together for warmth,
you reveal to me that you want it rough, that was your last secret,
and we both breathe a sigh of relief because we know we've chosen well:
we beat the odds, we are each other's soul mate,
we can relax and get to the hard fucking 'cause now we know it'll mean something hard spiritual

never found in all my searching a blogger who could handle my little ball,
my little ball concentrated to perfection with all of my constant failings,
my life pressures, my fails and disappointments and rage, all molded up into a sick little black ball
located where my heart used to be, the Grinch would be an improvement for me,
for the first time in ever, the first scale of the black ball chips off
as i adjust my fat cock to slide smoothly into your asshole
and the anal commences,
back and fucking forth,
sliding into that illegal place that feels so bad good,
we can discuss our money problems only after you groan,
we'll discuss our impossible future together only after you moan,
tonight is for the now, the sweaty now, the forbidden lust cracking open your million miles
of layers and masks you show the world,
and for me to finally admit that there's something here worth fighting for
and not for me to lock back into sulk mode, self-satisfied mode, intelligent mode

your pert ass is open to me, letting my cock inside your glorious pooper,
it's as if the world opens up to me now,
you scream, i breathe heavily, we try to muffle our sex enjoyment, for we don't
want the ugly, dead, loveless outside world to learn of our secrets,
you're about to spill your vagina juice, i'm about to spill my magical white fluid,
it doesn't take long for me, never does, it takes a few more thrusts for you, wink wink,
but i love that, makes me work harder to pleasure.
can we do the doodly-doo? can we cum together and make this union sickeningly perfect?

are you about to cum? tell me, woman, tell me so i can time my cumming to it...




CLICK HERE FOR THE NAUGHTY HANGOUT




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TMIT: YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

1. what star sign are you? ARIES, the strong-as-fuck ram, i'm a ram in the bedroom, i fuck with wild abandon, i also suck like the Rams in the NFL...suck

2. do you believe in horoscopes? sure, but i also believe in magic, otherwise i wouldn't continue to honor my Thursday Night Dungeons and Dragons conclave i'm in where i'm the Head Adventurer or something like that

3. when is your birthday? i'll never tell...*shit-eating grin*

4. what's the worst birthday gift a partner has given you? a book about pheromones which ended up convincing me i was in fact an insect. only after continuous viewings of THE FLY was i able to come out of it, but now i have the cadence and mannerisms of Jeff Goldblum, so i don't know which is worse.

5. are you organized when it comes to other people's birthdays? okay, once again playing under the guise that i have real flesh friends, not just computer "friends": yes, oh yes, why yes, i am very loyal to people who voluntarily consider me their friend, i take that seriously, i honor and respect them, i would never, say, schedule their birthday party the same Sunday as Sunday at the US OPEN GOLF 2012. okay, that was me, i skipped out on Tony's birthday party to be the dude who screamed "Yabba Dabba Doo!" at Graeme McDowell as Graeme went for this golf stroke.

6. how do you normally celebrate your birthday? i treat myself to an empty box and play as a baby or young cat would play with the box

7. if you could be one age again, what would it be and why? zero, because to experience age zero is to experience God.

8. what would be your ideal birthday treat? gather together all of my blog followers, box of wine, orgy, and let my blog lurkers, just the lurkers, the ones who come visit me but never leave a comment, let them clean up the mess afterwards.

bonus: tell us your best birthday memory: 1994, right after the Cobain suicide, my best friend in the whole world, a friend i loved with a love i've yet to experience since, had his birthday party just two weeks after the suicide...i didn't feel like celebrating, i let my friend down, i was dead inside, my hero was gone, and my other hero was disappointed in me...good times, good times

bonus bonus: may we see you in your birthday suit? post a photo: yes, just come here every Wednesday for a new TNH of me, it's as simple as that.






CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY






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HOW WELL DO YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR OWN BODY?

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE, AND THEN SPILL YOUR OWN SUBCONSCIOUS BODY SECRETS HERE





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TNH: CUOTE COCK CUOTES I

*CLICKY CLICKY*

click on that pic right up there to commence with the chorus

CUOTE=cute + hot, CUOTES=quotes

my cock
my cock inside this white sock
is for your juicy lips alone.
slobber at it with your spit,
munch it and slide onto it with your mouth,
cover it in saliva, lunch on it, it's all yours,
yours alone
as we begin the first stage of our connection dance.
you and i are powerful symbols in our campaign against hate,
we love quietly in a room far out into space,
no one can find us to criticize and print it.
i take a clump of your hair, you continue back and forth
skull-fucking for justice and savings,
the time comes for cum, my semen floods your tongue,
you swallow up the elixir of life,
and the first volley is shot, the first battle waged,
will we last the entire war? will these quotes testify surely
to what we accomplish from now on?
out there, all out there is fragile,
all we have, all we have is each other: my dill, your pills, no kills 'til we chill.
we are THE FRAIL (CLICK HERE),
together we must not fail.






CLICK HERE FOR THE NAUGHTY HANGOUT





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TMIT: THE MOST TIMES...I'VE PLAYED TMIT

we want to know all of these things you've done the most times:

1. sex position you've been in the most? lotus reverse cowmanservant chandelier-flying-dutchman The Joy Of Sex-stealing-under-the-covers eternal drillbit Naked Twister Clue That's How You Jenga!!! double-position

2. what book have you read the most? Lebron James is my hero, and since he reads The Hunger Games before every one of his pressure-filled playoff games, i do the same. i turn a blind eye to the fact that The Hunger Games is a rip-off of Battle Royale, i do so because Lebron James is my hero in life and basketball, i was one of the ones who burned his jersey...

3. what movie have you watched the most? why, The Hunger Games of course, because of Lebron and not because there just happens to be a smoking hot babe in the lead in these movies, a gorge chick who graced the cover of my Rolling Stone Magazine and i've never looked back since.

4. in the last week, who have you texted (no names, but give us their relationship-status to you)?: i am here to name names, and i don't text people, i'm too poor for that, i email folks, and i've emailed some of my bestest friends in life this past week, one person whom i met just this week. we talk about the old country, the old times, the ways honest men and women used to fuck each other (over).

5. in the last week, what food have you eaten?: the new Taco Bell nacho crunch burrito thingy that i saw advertised, i'm a sucker, see, i basically only take pleasure from fast food, which i can afford only once a week, so if there's something new advertised in a commercial from any of the usual chains, Wendy's has chili cheese fries, McDonald's has that new berry slushie, whatever it is, i go for it, 'cause during the week, my palate is such that i eat the same three meals all week, no variety, no taste, it's all just tepid chicken soup and rancid salad, i need food help, i need a good cookbook to lend me ideas on more variety in my diet, i need Continental Cuisine and exotic veal and fish that is captured and left to marinate for forty years before being served, folks, help me, i need food help, i need food ideas, my tongue is begging you!

6. today, which website have you visited?: the one i always visit, the one where i cull all of the hot porn vids i use in my PORN LESSONS posts i do which apparently are very popular with my readers according to the inner stats and charts of this blog:

xxxbunker

that's where all the action is, if you ever get bored, as you can see from that graph up there, it's a successful site that's doing well for itself, it's living the American Dream.

7. when dining out, where have you eaten? your luscious cunt

8. which sex toy have you used? i don't use sex toys, they're too expensive, and i've developed a bitter taste to them because i constantly get spammed with their email offers of this or that sex toy from a sex shoppe that i'm apparently a gold-card member of even though i've never heard of them before. i use the sexiest organ there is, my skin, or is it my brain? whatever, you know what i mean, i use my sexy imagination...

bonus: is there something you'd love to go back and relive in your sexual past? i wasn't always the meek loner blogger that you know and love presently, i used to not need a blog to live, i was a confident man, as you can see from the two pictures above. i started each morning welcoming the sunshine, bursting out my front door, standing squarely on my lawn and raising my two arms straight up to the sky with a confident look in my eyes and a confident grin on my face. i was so confident, as you can see in that pic there, i was able to control the shadows of Planet Earth with my feet, it was awesome, it was cool, it was like that shadow-controlling jutsu from Naruto





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