Friday, May 4, 2012
KENTUCKY DERBY GAME, ANYONE CAN PLAY
PONIES!!! the Ponies are here! yeah! my fellow bronies, we meet in secret 'cause society can't accept us, but i humbly ask you to...wait...what? wrong index card? wrong crowd? *looks out at cyberspace* oh...
um, tomorrow is the Kentucky Derby, so of course that means another sports game from yours truly that anyone, and i mean ANYONE who lives on this planet, can play.
FIRST, CLICK HERE FOR THE LIST OF 21 HORSES WHO WILL RACE TOMORROW
simply choose the horse that you think will win the race, it's your prediction. the real actual winner of the game is the one who correctly chooses the actual winner of the Kentucky Derby race tomorrow afternoon. easy, huh? look at the comments box below and make sure you don't choose a horse that another person has chosen, for then the whole game aspect of it dies. now, if nobody chooses the correct winning horse, there are a whole lotta legal issues involved as to who wins, we'll let the lawyers discuss that while we party with cheap red wine and whine.
since comments seem to be the commodity in this blog world, the winner will receive THREE FREE COMMENTS from me at your blog place. this is a steal, folks, i'm giving away 3 of my carefully-crafted comments, thought-up to provide for you and your family maximum comedy, all for the low low price of nothing, 0% down. if i win, well, i have ways of entertaining myself with my comments...
you all know my history with this particular game, right? for the last two years, i've picked the morning-line favorite to win, and both times, THAT horse was scratched THE DAY OF THE RACE!!! so basically i haven't had a viable choice that i watched actually run those brilliant two minutes for awhile now. here's to changing luck. this time, i WON'T go for the favorite, won't be the chalk man, i'm going purely by the way a certain name hits me. DULLAHAN, baby, that's mine. thanks to the fine folks at adult swim, one of my favorite animes of late is DURARARA, and my favorite character, everyone's favorite character, is the sexy Dullahan named Celty. you go, girl, go on Celty with your skin-tight black catsuit hugging those drooling curves and dat phat ass, that cat-ears yellow helmet that hides the fact that you have black smoke billowing out where your head should be, a-cha-cha, just the right amount of sex and macabre for this late phoenix. go on with your bad-ass self, girl, kicking butt and taking names later by typing them into your cell-phone handheld computer keyboard thingy and fucking up bad guys with a swipe of your scythe.
thanks for playing and i'll see all you guys tomorrow...
HAPPY DERBY DAY, MY BABIES!!!!!!!
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Great. Now I'm going to picture her in my head everytime I close my eyes. Probably carrying that wicked-looking sickle. I'm scared.
A lady I work with always throws a Kentucky Derby party, where she serves real mint juleps and a good time is had by all. There's only one requirement - you HAVE to come in a hat! I've never gone - something else always seems to be happening in my life, and this year is no exception. I hope to make it one year...
I shall choose Bodemeister. Bodhi was an awesome character in Point Break, and, well, anything that ends in "meister" is freaking awesome. I don't know if I'm pronouncing the name correctly, but in my head, that's how it's said - Bodhi-meister - and that's who will win. I hope.
For the blog contest, my selection is...
Went The Day Well
For my actual wager, I'm going to "box" Went The Day Well and Hansen on the exacta plus put a little on the nose of each one.
so close, Mia, so close...
I'm not a betting woman, but I love to peruse the list of entries because the names just crack me up. Whoever names these horses has a real sense of humour ;)
I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pissed off! Seriously?! In the lead until the last 100 yards?!?! Come ON!!!! Grrrrrr...
Now that it's all done I'm going with Medina Spirit for the enhanced win. By the way, this is the first time I read a news article all about horse pee: https://www.yahoo.com/news/bob-baffert-medina-spirit-case-130801866.html
ancilla: i feel bad for Medina Spirit. American Pharoah is still a pharaoh in my eyes. that was funny on SNL when Bob Baffert exclaims,
do i look like a villain?
Baffert is the ultimate Bond villain :)
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