TRAINEE

Bump lies on the ground not wanting to get up. he knows he has to go on but doesn't know why. it's as if the bump on his large head made him think different. he's playing a game. but it isn't even his game. he wipes the drool which has crusted on the side of his eyes and covers his face with his oversize red tie.

Bump (softly): i can see things. before they happen. it's true. powers are real, people just don't take the time to cultivate them. too busy doing busywork. people are too quick to cynic about everything. i can see things. i wish i had become a prophet instead of a prophet of doom.

he turns to the side and a green bird is

SINGING SILENT AND FLYING LOW, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

below the treetops of the abandoned trail.

Bump (mouth full of both kinds of dust): i take comfort to know God has granted me another sight of nature after my horse left. the horse, him, he's his own man. there's another way to view the world: on the ground. my head is spinning but i see her clearly, she takes me out of the clouds of dust and into the clouds: the blonde woman. little cardinal, will you do me a kindness? perch on my extended finger like Snow White.

green bird: good sir, deep down i still think so, i am green.

Bump: i'm a good actor, had to be to survive, but i'm sick of playing to the cameras. i lost track of my masks so i don't know where base is.

green bird: God has a camera, too.

as the green bird fies up and down floaty to keep up with the president's equilibrium, Bump sees a red ball bouncing up and down.

Uvula still underwater has evolved her lungs into gills, or at least really super supreme iron lungs.

Uvula: sometimes evolution is a straight line, sometimes it's smashing different things together to form an unknown crooked combination. my water broke but i didn't feel it. this is gonna be a big baby. it's stomping inside me. it's shoving.

a bright star light emanates from her belly which illuminates all the dark corners of the one ocean. the only darkness comes from the black ink poring over her hole into the depth as her body begins to expand like a rubber band. Uvula screams silently. underwater is on fire.

Hilary: you hear that?

the Pope: yes. an impressive young lady in charge of her tribe. met her once on a mission. Sunsong i believe.

Hilary: no, an impressive young woman confused but resilient. a mermaid with her two feet on the ground. about to give birth unlike anything previous. where there is nothing, something new fills the void. you know what we must do. it's more than duty, it's brotherhood.

Hilary puts the rest of the Stones granola clusters into her yogurt and slurps it down hurriedly shoveling with a spork. the Pope finishes her dutch apple pie, crumbly with golden brown sugar.

the Pope: okay, shall we carpool until we reach a fork in the road? i've got my helicarrier parked out front.

Hilary: we shall be guided by a city of lights. and my jet is bigger than yours.

Hilary arrives and jumps in through the port without looking. Uvula is calmly treading water underwater, her outbursts have become more measured and experienced. Hilary dons a nurse's cap and dives down to reach her. she is wet. she jettisons herself. she touches Uvula's shoulder. it's hard to see through all the shine but Uvula spots the watery image of the vice president with her arm tightly around Bil. next to her is the Pope collaring Master Jesus to give him a french kiss. and Sunsong's hole.

the Pope (at the village): so what was it like?

Sunsong: a tragedy too sudden to process. before we knew it, fire. we're used to fire around here but this was not natural. when the bombs had stopped, our village was razed. we would have to rebuild again. bones heal but not hearts. Emblem was in our bombass hut recovering from his many fishing expeditions to other villages. my beloved Emblem, in so short a time he went from strongman to second banana. but he was never useless to me, he was my everything. i still remember that reverbing voice, the only cold for miles:

Codrus: where's your boyfriend?

i was shocked when i saw my husband's killer was a woman. that tricked me. but the joke was on them. he wasn't the head of the snake, i was. i was stunned but just stunned. i picked myself up and carried my long heavy grand staff ahead cos i knew it contained the toothpicks and shivs and woodwinds of my people and my generations. i lunged it at my fellow sister cos this isn't the time for philosophy. they disappeared before the caber landed. they were like a dream. too bad their damage was not.

the Pope: you poor thing. i am hear to lend a breast. i believe in random. there is no reason why you were spared and Emblem was not but there is rhyme. within the randomness you are in charge of your fate. combat the random with your own random. you weren't planning on coming with me to see a once-in-an-ever birth in the special sea, were you? see? our sisters are doing amazing things this age. take my hand, we all need leaders.

remember that bear who tried to maul Uvula from before? well that same bear is being transported by the green bird and dropped into the water. the bear glides swiftly through and is nimble for his appearance---like a blue whale---negotiating the inner waves and reaching Uvula's bellybutton. the water bear licks the precious womb and Uvula gently pets the bears' fuzzy ears. she closes her eyes but not for too long.

the birth

so graceful and quiet in the blue

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

and everyone gathered around agree they have witnessed the most beautiful creature in creation

a family of homesteaders who live in the utmost hinterlands of the world are gearing up. there's not much plastic in these parts. they gather their stockpile of guns and blades. they don their weavehats and spit out their wheatstalks. they rub their blue necks proud of their fights. they begin to march.

Codrus is watching a movie.

Codrus: ......no........i don't need another video game........enough of the sponsored content, get back to the show......i don't care if it has God mode, i already do God mode.......it's like those NFLers who play Madden in their spare time...

Bump and Hilary are locked arm-in-arm kicking their heels on stage finishing up the One finale from A Chorus Line while in a chorus line. Codrus chuckles lazily in his uncomfortable movietheatre seat. a shadow blocks the screen, a domineering large looming spot of black making the creature seem bigger than he is as he spots his prey while in front of the projector. it's the green bird, he transforms into Cotard. Cotard jumps from the balcony of the theatre his words lost in green smoke and plunges a blade into Codrus's heart. Codrus looks down at his wound but he had prepared his lines beforehand so he takes extra long to examine the weapon.

Codrus: ah, the reverse blade. the hilt is the sharp metal part and the blade itself is made of Stones. Imzhan, huh? we're fighting right now but all friends go through rough patches. you interrupted my inner monologue, i was just about to say i have been training. oh well. it's probably good enough. you guys don't see what i do when i'm offscreen.

JUST THEN a man enters the theatre. the homesteading family attacks Codrus. the man scratches his face and the woman sticks a pitchfork in his eye.

Codrus: keep it, i've got another one on my forehead.

the woman: don't mess with homesteaders! we have to be independent to survive. freedom!

Cotard makes sure in all the commotion to hold onto the reverse-blade's handle with his life. his fingers start to drip blood.

the little brother flips the little sister into Codrus's stomach, she strikes the belly with her penny loafers. the penny in her shoe slot shines like a newly dying star. Codrus loses one pack in his abs. the boy finishes the job with his land claimer's cudgel bonk on Codrus's noggin. Codrus's ushanka is torn and he is deepened into his seat.

Codrus: you people are crazy. i don't know who's fighting whom anymore. the worst thing to happen to numbers was fractions. you will never see the big picture without a telescope. you don't see what i'm doing for you, i know how underappreciated Jesus feels. i won't be another one on this cold rock to believe under gravity. i will create my own horizon. in space. everything ends in space. nothing less than limitless. i'm getting the fuck outta here. i'm not crazy, i want to die. i don't want to live forever, i want to die knowing the truth. use all the BS the world has ever produced to solve the energy crisis. i want the truth to my face to be bald and shiny and not hiding its face under a beard.

Codrus points to the heavens.

bumumumumumumumumumumum

a huge egg-and-yolk-colored energy ball carries Codrus and a dangling Cotard up into the sky. this ball is way too big for two people. it nearly cuts the helicarrier off as it ascends.

the Pope: get over here! what are you doing?

Codrus: transporting culture. a culture of winning. you people are doomed to contract. i get it, they're trees, they're great, but i'm in the mood for space trees.

higher and higher the duo get, blocking the sun, then becoming indistinguishable from the sun. as the rainbow mesosphere arches in front of them and breaches in back the two hulks know deep down their juice will have to sluice, the duet will have to duel.

unless they can create more time