TMIT: THIS LOST HOUR OF SLEEP HAS TURNED ME INTO A FLY

not The Fly, just a common housefly.

"the emotions aren't always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action"---William James.............................and Elmo

1. laughter: what makes you laugh: i love black comedy as you might suspect, but:

"when it gets too dark, the art starts to suffer."---Maynard James Keenan

2. anger: this past week, who or what really pissed you off? what happened? Daylight Savings happened. i'm still recovering from that lost hour of sleep, and my weekends are already insanely crowded with busywork as it is. i am now fully messed up. it's gonna take a year for my body to accept what has happened to it as it compensates with cat naps and bad sex.

3. fear: what phobia did you have but overcame? that spinning pinwheel when the computer doesn't work, when the page is still loading, that used to scare me because it looks like a beach ball so i almost went outside in the sun to play. that was close, nobody wants to see me in my goth swim trunks...

4. surprise: recently, what unexpected behavior or act did you experience in your sex life? for the first time in my life, i broke the five-minute barrier.............................the palm of my hand and my fingers hurt for days afterwards.........

5. trust: many ongoing relationships have a certain predictability about them. does that certainty translate into trust? no, it translates into boring. i hate predictability. watch this: what word am i thinking of now? nope. nope. see? it's better if you don't know what's coming. the word was "word" btw.

6. excitement: who do you excite? my readers, as evidenced by all the page views i get. of course 95% of those page views are spam, but...

bonus: what intimate activity do you share with your partner? something that is meaningful to your relationship, like Sunday breakfast in bed, cooking, maintenance spanking, etc.: the only time we ever had breakfast in bed, she wanted me to pour the maple syrup on her naked body but instead, klutz that i am, i spilled it on her freshly-laundered white linens and she got mad at me :(

i used to be a maintenance man at Pep Boys, so when i talked about maintenance spanking, she thought i was cheating on her at the store. i wasn't, i swear. when i talked about leaking my transmission fluid, it's not what she thought...

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