TMIT: GOT ARRESTED LAST NIGHT...

1. what is the most revealing thing you have ever worn in public? the easy answer is nothing, and that is the answer i'll go with. contemplate nothing with me for a moment...nothingness...you will think about that now for eternity, long after you've been shoveled into the ground.

2. have you ever unwittingly showed more than you wanted to in public due to a wardrobe malfunction? hello, blogworld, my name is Janet Jackson...Justin's lagging behind...

3. are you more likely to arrive at an event under- or over-dressed? in true rock-star fashion (fashion, get it?), i'd arrive fashionably (fashionably, get it?) late. please invite me to your next event, blog friends, i'm leaving for good this summer.

4. regale us with a story about how you came to an event and wanted to leave immediately because you realized you weren't dressed correctly for the event: oh man, something happened to me in college, shock i know...yeah, that was fucked-up...beet-red face over here...ha...man

5. what is the one thing that a man/woman/vegetable/lover wears that you look upon with passion? when my dream lover, my favorite blogger, wears that wedding dress on our wedding day...we will serve vegetables passionately cooked with a wok...the vegetables will also don wedding dresses and sharp black suits, the pickle will look the smartest with his top hat and tails

6. what is the one thing a man/woman/vegetable/lover wears that you hate with a passion? hate is such a strong word, hate destroyed my life, i need to learn to channel my anger and angst into constructive song melodies and make billions like my hero Trent Reznor did...but seriously, what is up with banana hammock thongs? only a certain British comedian can wear them with dignity, the rest, no. i mean, maybe the cucumber can pull it off, i can see the radish having his way with the babe carrots, but the broccoli, for-fucking-get it.

bonus: okay you have this thing called a friend who spent shitloads of money and time getting all gussied up for this imaginary event you go to to make yourselves feel better about yourselves. so after weeks and weeks of planning and tailoring and primping, the friend makes the grand entrance with the dress and it's horrible, horror-movie terrible, just plain bad. do you talk or keep your mouth zipped? friends above all should be honest with one another. tell the painful truth, a friend will, a yes-man won't. of course you will lose that friend as a friend, which begs the question: what's the point of friends if you can't keep any friends?

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