1. lights on or off? there are lights?
2. slow teasing or getting right to business? it's always a tease. she says she's coming but she never comes. to the date i mean.
3. giver or receiver? a couple of options here. the Ren & Stimpy thing. the Cosby quote: "i brought you into this world and i'll take you out" but those can't be used anymore. the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. i'll stick with that one, it's good to be scared of God.
4. background noise or no? not cool, man, that's my band playing in the background. we worked hard on that song.
5. top or bottom? sideways. i like to drink a lot of wine. i never do cos it's too expensive.
6. private or public? i hired a private dick cos i thought she was cheating on me. instead i got a public dick. Archer said he had evidence she was cheating on me, cos Archer was fucking her.
bonus: describe your best or worst sexual encounter. double bonus if you describe both. they were the same encounter. i was in the Wimbledon Final. i hit a massive bulging serve that clearly caught the line for match point and the trophy. but McEnroe, Patrick McEnroe, didn't agree and chewed me out. i celebrated early by stripping naked right there on court and fucking my girlfriend on the baseline. the chair umpire, John McEnroe, sided with his brother and banned me for life from tennis. i returned to Centre Court the following year, again naked, this time as a streaker. i would have saved some of that fabled grass but i didn't have any pockets. i'm still having fun with my life.
triple bonus: how will 24 Legacy end?
a) Rebecca and Eric fuck
b) Rebecca and Tony fuck for old times' sake
c) Rebecca and Eric and Tony fuck
d) Eric and Tony fight
e) Eric and Tony fuck
f) Rebecca and John Donovan fuck for the first time
g) John Donovan gets it on with his hostage
h) the terrorists read the Bible and become atheists
i) Jack comes back as a terrorist
sorry, ladies and gentlemen, the Handsome Terrorist died in the previous episode.
i'm going with e
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