hello. my name is Mickey Bump. i don't get many quiet moments so while i have one i'd like to reintroduce myself again to the universe. i have been greatly misunderstood but such is the lot for great minds. i can't feel that great mind anymore by the way cos my head has been pumped with so many drugs by my father.
Jose: not to mention crazy ideas.
hey, they thought Galileo was crazy.
Jose: have another taco, boss.
not saying i'm in the same league. but i did name a hotel after him. the point is i see clearly. the knife rain is gone. all my life i've been given what i want. so i don't take no for an answer. i'm not distracted with sounding right...
Jose: *fingers shaped in a megaphone* WRONG!
...no, right and stop interrupting. i see a path and immediately cross the bridge. except there are no more bridges. we stopped building buildings. we got bogged down with twitter talk and no action. i don't care anymore. the time for tough talk is over. i will simply do it. i got the semen for it. thanks Hilary.
Hilary: no problem, take two and call me in the morning in America. i like it back here. nice and quiet. i can study my book.
don't make me break your glasses you nebbish! take a whiff. look outside through the narrow window i slit open. smell that peephole. it's nature. it's the open. when i
VIEW VISTAS, I SEE CHANGE, I SEE THE LEAVES TURN RED WITH MY BLOOD, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
even i can be a better man. i'm smart enough to recognize i'm dumb. i may not show it but i want the things you want. i want what i want. i believe in an impossibility called the possible. and do you know how i know anything's possible? cos Kevin Garnett said so. i trust a man who knows balls.
wait, is this another drug?
Hilary: it's fine. the finest. it's a statin. worked wonders for me. it's a miracle drug.
i'm catching the man flu from you. but i'll be okay tomorrow. o how precious the morrow.
the Pope: and what of all the women?
i'll get to you. i'm going alphabetically. you can have my sloppy seconds in the interim. take a chill pill. and a captain's wafer and some aged vanilla you've earned it. what can i say? i want what i want. de gustibus non est disputandum.
Jose: que? i don't understand your language. you disparage my country with what you did to her and all the rest.
NO WAY! but honestly, hombre y hombre, bitches be crazy. they say i hate women but that's not true. i hate all women but one. never cared for that whole power dynamic thing. i like the power but i'm not dynamic. i can read body language and yours says you'd rather be at a dentist's appointment.
Jose: you're holding me prisoner against my will. which *sigh internally* used to be illegal. it's just weird that you are walled off here. literally. your office is a rotunda wall, a literal turret, the Irish round tower.
gotta protect myself. that's what happens when the universe hates you. and it does, Codrus told me himself. i built it myself. with just my two large bare hands. no one else bothered. see i like to have dirty hands.
Jose: where'd you find the time? i'm a newsman.
you must make time for the things you cherish. brick by brick. solid. but there's board games and stuff to keep us indoors. Adventure Time Monopoly. and instagram. man what is up with the gram lately? y'know? if it's not the boxing to everyone wanting to suddenly be an airline pilot to balloons and weddings and wedding balloons...
Hilary: *tongue out* fuck it! yuck! i hate the wedding!
no, Phuket. nah i love weddings! they're hopeful.
Codrus: did you do the thing?
Hilary: yes sir. i negotiated the Russian peace treaty all on my blackberry. *ring ring* that me?
the Pope: that's me, dear, remember we switched phones when we fucked. we share the same number now. that was one good schtup. oh may i be excused? i gotta take this, Gaga is complaining again that i stole her identity...
Hilary: love what you've done with the earth! that whole recycling number plot was genius! ingenius! no it was outgenius!
Codrus: of course it was. i invented genius. literally. but did you see the thing i did with the money?
Hilary: *cackle* heehee. finally a good use for coins! but how is this possible?
you mean you never played in an arcade? skipped school and hung out at 7-Eleven? seeing how big my bubblebum bubble got, as big as a ball, and placing that balloon in the tirerack? putting my wad into the slot. we're talking about public phones here...