Monday, November 21, 2011
BABE OF THE WEEK: LINDSAY CZARNIAK: UPDATED PICS!!!
CLICK HERE FOR STICKS
CLICK HERE, NOW EVEN THOUGH COUNTRY MUSIC TO ME IS A SYNONYM FOR SATAN HIMSELF, STILL CLICK HERE
CLICK HERE, OH CRAP, RIGHT HERE TO TOP YOURSELF OFF
i get all my sports info from one source: espn. does that make me a shill? yes, yes it does, but i don't care, because espn is the child of abc, which is the parent of something which leads back to disney, walt disney, a man who is more a hero to me than the war hero i pretend to be. without walt disney, i wouldn't want to live in this god-forsaken world. without early mickey mouse and the pirate ride at disneyland, i wouldn't be typing to you right now. when i was deeper in my depression, i still thought that all i had to do to survive was hole up in my dark cavern of a room, pull the blankets up to my eyes, never turn on the lights, and watch hour upon hour of espn programming and just forget that i had social problems. you should have seen me, it was pathetic even for my standards, i lived all my failed tennis-star dreams through these shows. i'd watch religiously JIM ROME, PARDON THE INTERRUPTION, and AROUND THE HORN, every single damn show, 5 days a week, that's 1 and a half hours of witty sports banter a day. sure, i was well-informed, but where did it get me? nowhere, that's what. i still remember AROUND THE HORN with max as the host, that's how far i've been there, max and woody going at each other with verbal fire, i think deep down they really hated each other, those were the false-good times. along the way, my limbic brain kept reminding me that if i didn't at least get some feminine wiles in my sports system, i'd become a jock loaded up on steroids, full of vim and vigor but lousy in bed. eventually, the babes on espn started cathcing my eye more, just ask tony kornheiser about a certain hannah storm dress. then, now, it's lindsay's turn. she is ******* hot, huh? she started co-anchoring the ESPN NEWS segments, and i'd count myself lucky when she hosted the 30-minute segment alone, 'cause i really wanted to know her views on the latter part of the show, y'know, where they would showcase the world toe-curling championships and that one sport where you fling yourself down a grassy hill with a round of cheese to see which breaks their skull at the bottom first. anyway, lindsay has definitely made my sports days brighter. she's a whip-smart babe, too, see she's still new to the anchoring thing, but i've noticed that whenever she first works with a new-to-her anchorman, she knows a little about his back-story and uses it to make the situation more warm and friendly, like reminiscing about a canadian place when she was working with that cool, reference-laden indian canadian anchor. for awhile there i didn't see lindsay, for a week or so she was gone, i wondered if some office politics had reared its ugly head, if some male anchors were feeling jealous and underappreciated, if maybe some race cards would be played, but then she came back. must have been a long vacation or honeymoon or something, i hope she really enjoyed herself, wink wink. no, no need for oj politic cards or climbing the glass ladder, she had returned and all was well. oh, and i've come to my senses, i shun PARDON THE INTERRUPTION now, i hate wilbon for always bagging on federer. i purposely miss AROUND THE HORN, i like Stat Boy as host, he's a cool dude who loves his nintendo, but it just isn't the same after max left. i still drink my daily intake of ROME, however, and i'm quite surprised at this. at first, i hated that smug arrogant ***hole rome, but as i watched more, i realized that i was the ***hole because i was simply jealous of his smarts. when it comes to smart smug, don't hate, IMITATE. so, that's progress, right? fuck, i need to get outside again, been ages since i hit my wimbledon-winning slice serve at some dope on the other side of the net.