this is when i started to go off the rails. so forgive me if i don't remember the finer details. i was in the midst of my first nervous breakdown while watching this show, Nicktoons's first original. my future was finished, my goals were garbage, and all my friends were dead. to me. my mind was mush, my imagination was ignited, and i didn't know if my hallucinations were coming from heaven or hell. i was between schools and between jobs. climbing the walls, literally. running around in circles, literally.
before we begin, i really hope that white sandwich that nice blue punk is eating didn't come from a frat. and bottom pic, that's Kappa Mikey's penis. that's why he's so popular.
another dual-animation show but by then i was too far gone. created by Larry Schwarz who really should have worked on Spaceballs: The Animated Series. i LOVED his Three Delivery, wanted more, thought his Speed Racer TNG strained and became unmanageably insufferable and exhausting with the line readings. didn't Deliver ba dum chiss. ah G4, back when it was still a mom-and-pop outfit. where you could laze watching a gentle giant who looked like Guile race around a maze or something. when the video-game life was simple. when Morgan Webb was still Morgan Webb.
the character of Kappa Mikey will immediately lead one to The Venture Bros., which is of course is one of the greatest shows of all time. will i do it for V? we'll see. kappa the folklore turtle who's kind of like a ninja. i was knee-deep in Australian cuisine by then. i vaguely remember the LilyMu show, the parody of the parody.
stardom is such a fickle thing to try to attain. you should really go after things like love. but i keep forgetting, only celebrities have sex.
the anime community embraced this show which was surprising, they are so quick to judge. even the hardcore hentai freaks which wasn't surprising. can something be called anime if it doesn't come from Japan?...
Gonard, or Gonads if you prefer, voiced by Goku, plays the villain on the show but bff in real life. actors can be so fickle. Guano is the Pikachu reject who...wait, Guano? really? spoilers: i won't spoil it for you, have a merry Christmas. Lily, who acts like Princess Peach but in real life is Katherine Heigl in a sailor moon outfit. she hates Mikey for stealing her spotlight and taking her thunder and licking her limelight with his american stankbreath and uses her words to express herself on these matters, her loud words. she's a rageaholic who needs medicine. but all Mikey wants to do is stick his long wooden stick up her butthole. for pleasure not pain. or maybe both. Mitsuki, the stunning...bluehead? with those long gams and sturdy frame. that's a nice body i mean design. why aren't blondes called yellowheads? Mitsuki is the one in the group with all her marbles. except she used to be a secret agent. that's crazy. why would you give up a life of acting for real for one of acting for fake? Mitsuki has a raging hardon for Mikey and Mikey is oblivious to it cos he's a boy. but i bet if he knew Mikey would be dreaming of sliding his long wooden stick inbetween Mitsuki's giant peaches. Ozu who has a japanese giant salamander up his butt. don't know why, he runs a company which makes tv, i mean how cool is that? and Yes Man. yes, man, his name is Yes Man. Ozu's yes man. hyper. failed actor. but come on, man, Yes Man, it's not a failure till you're dead. you're merely a frustrated actor. you can do it, Yes Man, let's spur Yes Man on his path to fulfilling his dream. always live in joy whatever your station. lack-minded, i like that.
watch the Kappa Mikey Christmas Special because you should always watch any animated Christmas special. there's just something about animation and the holidays. the heart warms faster to the lessons and the strings get pulled tighter when the family finally gets together. the cartoon family, not your family. that's the point. it's the special music. it's seeing your favorite characters in snow. seeing them all bundled up in scarves and sweaters. and forcibly inserting Santa into every canon. it's the ultimate reservoir pool of nostalgia.
CLICK HERE FOR THE FIRST FULL EPISODE. AND LOOK YOU DIDN'T NEED TO PAY FOR CABLE!
CLICK HERE FOR THE INTRO AND SING ALONG
CLICK HERE FOR THE INTRO AFTER YOUR NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
and for Keeping Up with the Kardashians. i just want to take this time to mention that i have never seen this show. i hope i never get bored enough that i do. there can never come a time when there is nothing else on.
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