Friday, March 3, 2017




* i'm exhausted. washed the litter box today. power washing. with my power hose. dunked the gunked scoop in a pail of hot-as-hell water overnight. left the pail in the shed and locked the door to keep the 100-pound midnight squirrels from it. hell water.

* the Thundercats' litter box that is. what a job!

* give THIS man the Oscar! did it all in one take, too. One Take Jake. he's a real professor. now why would you want to be a professor when you could be an actor?

* oh, turns out he had someone behind the camera with cue cards and he read them SNL-style. still, the professor's performance was on point cos every single thing written on those cue cards was spelled incorrectly...

* this is why we'll never have a time machine

* nothing unilateral has ever been good

* diractants: Directioners distracted by Zayn's shocking exit

* life is not about sperm, life is about fam

* the Coptic version is still considered apocrypha

* side-fumbling can be cured with prayer

* Lotus vs. the Stater, religion vs. government, Jesus vs. Caesar

* pipe. thank you, now i understand

* girdle spring: a brassy dame who still has a spring in her step. a gilf who wants to fuck. Betty White

* oh, this won a Grammy

* score? oh that score. i scored a zero on this.

* he wanted so bad, so bad to say dingus

* something about repopulation

* it's not NASA's fault, the government are cheap fucks who believe in war, not science. didn't you think we'd have a Starship Enterprise by now?

* after all that work the frickin' director corpses and ruins the bit at the end! and it's not endearing like when Harvey Korman did it.


happy weekend

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