Friday, December 2, 2016



* it helps anxiety? well i've tried everything else. do you crush the stones and mix it with milk?

* Frank: i'm lonely but i got a nice house in the hills.

* Frank: i use that little mirror to shave. i have yet to shave.

* Frank: tea, earl grey, hot....................................oh i still have to make it myself?

* Frank: that woman in the painting? i ate her. no, it's not what you think, i mean sex, sex.

* Frank: they said this hat was XXL.

* Frank: hooligans drove by and slanted my mailbox with their bats. i ate them.

* Frank: i don't walk with a gimp, that's my dick. thank you, Dr. Frankenstein.

* Frank: i screwed red and green christmas lights into my bolts? festive, huh?
little girl: makes it creepier. you've ruined Christmas for me forever.

* Frank: wait! just wait! motherfucking wifi in this motherfucking town in this motherfucking blizzard.

* Frank: don't be scared, this is my real voice. it's so low it causes tsunamis.

* crowd: we don't know that one. you know "Last Christmas" by Wham!?

* little girl: i was just joking before. i know that's your real face and you can't help it.

* little girl: are you crying?
Frank: men aren't supposed to cry. men are supposed to be scary.

* Gordon Ramsay: it's colder than a witch's tit! where's my motherfucking coffee!!?.................i'm in the wrong commercial again innit? one day, Gervais, one day...

* crowd: that Everybody Loves Raymond ending. i mean come on. it's gotta be better than that.


happy weekend. stay cold.


Jules said...

Ha! Gervais and Ramsay. Miss them! *)

the late phoenix said...

they gotta start doing shows or something *)