Friday, February 3, 2017



* many said this was the first time they didn't like one of these. this ended up being my favorite one. i want so desperately to be an influencer but i don't have enough followers.

* ah, language. language is such a fickle thing. it's so complicated communication. i could go on but there's no point, you'll never understand what i'm thinking. that's the point. do you know what i mean? i'm using these words to mean. what do these words mean to you? it's clear we speak a different language.

* can there be reality without life? can something exist without being quantified? do you need to be a vaper to enjoy V A P O R W A V E?

* the Great Wall of China was the only Wonder of the World that protected us, the rest were worthless. oh sorry, ad...

* all great artists draw a circle face in kindergarten.

* in the end, it's all shapes. letters are but shapes. you must know your shapes to survive. SAVE SESAME STREET. i know you're apolitical but SAVE SESAME STREET

* if i flowbee my hair does that count as vacuuming for the week?

* the failure of progress. missiles. nuclear winter. hey remember those white eraser sticks with the railroad tracks in the front that you zipped up and down?

* Timothy Leary was the first person to see the Pac-Man grid in his mind.

* if you stare at the void the void stares back at you. so don't stare at the void it's rude.

* hey quit making all that noise! space is supposed to be quiet.

* that reminds me i need a shave. waiting for the six-blade razor. not a six-pack of blades, one razor with six blades. for the smoothest face.

* don't believe polls. only open the flipping door. sex sells. even here, sex sells.

* don't stand in the rain and tell me it's watersports.

* arbitrary, that's the only word you need to know from this section.

* 4:40: Election 2016

* raise your hand if you come from immigrants. the refugee boat will be with you shortly.

* the MCP got some work done.

* tighter than California? blasphemy.

* this whole section is a metaphor on how claymation wasn't everyone's cup of tea.

* emojis and textspeak are ruining language. but they do make the sex better.

* this is our future: a Russian who speaks English.

* it's impossible to accurately portray the state of death.

* pro tip: if you have to eat SpaghettiOs, get the ones with the meatballs. SpaghettiOs without meatballs is disgusting.

* see? Sesame Street. just cos they're puppets and it's unnatural for a non-human thing to be alive it's not Satanic or anything.

* i'd add door hinge but i don't know the safeword.

* you are now eleven words closer to death. that's just cruel.

* this parrot is mimicking the actual real-life last words of people. the last person was giving life the raspberry as they passed. or maybe they were eating raspberries when they passed. y'know like choked on one. raspberries have the weirdest slimiest hairiest skin.


okay so the line is about a 7. Vegas has the over-under at 100. percent in getting a stadium in Vegas somehow. do not consult your Book consult your bookie. i know the NFL frowns on this sort of thing so i won't tell the Commissioner you were here, Roger. the Falcons will score on their first drive. the catch is that drive will last 3 hours. did you know that the total time the ball is actually in play in an average football game is 11 minutes? that's the length of an adult swim show. all i know is that a bird will win that night...


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