Monday, February 19, 2018


1. do you think fate or destiny play a role in love? a) absolutely b) for the most part c) somewhat d) not really e) not at all

i usually answer e all of the above to these things. Fate/stay night the anime? Destiny the video game? i seem to be very lonely. if it's good enough for Theresa Lopz-Fitzgerald, it's good enough for me.

2. true or false---if my sexual likes and dislikes are not in line with my partner's, i change them. if it's sexual, i'll like it. people have called me a thumb whore even though i don't have facebook. i like likes, okay? i like to be liked. i like a thumb in my ass so sue me.

3. you and your partner are at a party. both of you are equally acquainted with the hosts and the other people attending. although you aren't the best of pals with any of the guests, you have conversed with them on a few occasions. during the socializing, what would you most likely do?

a) i'd stay glued to my partner's side, conversing with the same people he/she is
b) i'd be away from my partner, mingling with the other guests
c) i'd stay near my partner, but involved in different conversations
d) i'd spend more time by my partner's side and some time mingling
e) i'd let my partner drift or stick by me---as she/he wishes

i love murder mysteries. no wait, i saw the trailer, nevermind. these are party fouls and i've never liked branding certain behavior as party fouls, i don't follow rules by nature, i'm not a stickler though i am often sticky. and the truth is, i've never been invited to a party. i'm not territorial like that, live and let live i say, and be free to graze. as long as you double-dip the chip i'm cool with ya.

4. have you ever gone through your partner's journal, diary, or personal letters?
a) yes, i've read it/them from A-Z
b) yes, i've read some of it/them
c) i know where he/she keeps them but haven't read any
d) i know where he/she keeps them---i couldn't help but look---but i haven't read any.
e) no, i don't know where he/she keeps them, and i have no intention of looking
f) no, i don't know where he/she keeps them, even though i've looked

this is particularly stinging to me as a writer, i've had this violation visited upon me in the past, which is why i don't diary anymore, i just write what's in my head directly onto instagram and avoid the middleman. trade secrets and such. it was doubly painful to see that he used my idea and became a millionaire off it with franchise rights and a new ride at Universal Studios while i continue to eat beans. though i am heartened to be dating fellow writers, folk who would keep a journal, who continue the romantic practice of writing love letters, and letters to their taxman. when two writers fuck, the resulting orgasm is a bestseller. i didn't mind when she learned i was a slut, it was when my life started turning up in Fifty Shades Freed...

5. have you ever had a romantic partner go through your journal, diary, personal letters, or text messages without your permission? how did you feel? what did you do? there's nothing you can do. just stand in line like everyone else at Waldenbooks and hope she spells your name right.

bonus: what makes you feel loved? rubber cement. we weren't allowed rubber cement in kindergarten cos of the highing fumes. didn't take my first sniff till college. do you know how hard it is to find a college art class that still uses kindergarten rubber cement?



Jules said...

They need to bring out a new pizza called Fifty Slices of Fabulous, delivered in a rubber cement box, accompanied with a spicy dip called SerenDIPity. Then we can crust together and feed the world with our stories. *)

the late phoenix said...

mah dahlin when I was small I thought the newly-married adults traveled to an actual honey-colored moon. like it was an ancient Native American legend or something. spirit-walk for young couples. now they can with the Musk space Tesla

Fifty Shades of Fellatio pizza, one large delivered cheese pizza that comes with your choice of cured pepperoni. the pepperoni is not cut into the customary recognizable slices, rather served whole in those long fat bulbous sticks that look like police batons to do with as the customer pleases

rubber cement was on the banned-substances list in kindergarten. along with Hell Dust. also on the college banned-substances list. kindergarten kontraband