Wednesday, February 28, 2018


the tit thing didn't work.

Doryce: what now?

Sally Quinn retracts her tits and takes a moment to ponder. about in what direction this whole thing is going. she chews on the Sword of Saad wand, the Wand of Saad.

Sally: i know all the answers. doesn't mean i have all the answers. not at my disposal this very instant anyway. takes time to cultivate something worth fighting for.

the girls quickly button up their blouses. Jill Wine-Banks lets her girls breathe a bit more and smiles in that hearty way she do.

Jill: the key lies in your friendship. it's an invisible key to a secret locket. i envy you girls. we put on airs here but really we're sanding over our insecurities that can't be held at any bank buoyed by the strength of the group, with the axiom the more people the more perceived strength. but it's all hogwash. you've been convening your own two-man satanic convent now for centuries without us.

Doryce: hey, i was born in the '60s.

Gladyce: *creak* says so on her driver's license which she hasn't used since the '60s.

Doryce: good of us to join you. beauty sleep?

Gladyce: just resting my watering eyes.

Jo: that takes care of all the tending to of all the plants in here for a month. thank you, Gladyce.

Jamie: you and i, Jo, are the ones who have males names.

Jill wrestles with her phrasing and iced tea.

Jill: y'all two will see each other through. follow your heart...

Sally: ...or rather your soul, the stirrings of the soul cannot be tamed by another. before we get too ephemeral and nebulous, let's ground this in some sort of science. keep an eye of newt out for the remaining Stones. oh these Stones are such a bother, so male, we ladies are always needing to streamline the heavy history of man's kind.

Jill: well don't keep the dang thing in your backpocket then, love.

the rune is marked with one continuous lime line of a Dutch cap and nothing on the back. cos it's all been erased, you clearly see the remnants of previous spells crossed out with the eraser dust fossiled in. it's like the Stones everyone knows but fun size, like that travel edition of Clue you took on long road trips.

Sally: makes my butt look big and uneven i love it.

Jill waves the birds off with her grandmotherly shoo by her bright old eye and parting advice:

Jill: take a left at the poolboy. take a right at the first hotel you see on the row. it's not a complicated complex. it's always empty rooms, everyone assumes the first one will be booked. that's the place you know has the ool.

Sally: yeah, the objects aren't as important as the affection.

Rebecca Lowe sends them on their way leaning at the doorstop with her formica glass eyes.

Rebecca: never give up no matter the odds. see it through to your destination. you will only accomplish to pick the joyous fruits of life when you work as a team. bubblegum and spit.

Gladyce: bye, dearies. that Rebecca really needs to not be so serious about sport.

Doryce: yeah, bye. that was kind of a waste. no help. where to? and please say a cannery. I'M HUNGRY!!!

Doryce walks like Godzilla.

Gladyce: more like Bridezilla. please carry me, dear, you're my scooter. i am frightfully flagging.

Doryce: i'm fagged, too. looks like Doubletree ding ding ding is the winner!

the ladies of a certain age collapse on the big fluffy sofa in the center of the lounge and Gladyce steals a green-handled fork from the diner.

Gladyce: i had a dream while i was long out. i dreamt that the tine of this fork kept going forever, all around the world and all around time and space.


Jules said...

Never give up. Whatever it takes. I say this every morning, my sweet but that saying alone is so dreadfully draining that I have to have a nice sit down and a cup of tea. *)

the late phoenix said...

that’s the Degrassi theme song. Degrassi wasn’t quite as good as Skins but it was close.

I wish I was there with you swallowing that tea. in a tub of tea. I need tannin. and a tan i’m looking gother than normal. been sick all the time