Monday, November 21, 2016


1. how often do you sext? that's the same thing as just scrolling through instagram, right?

2. how many dick pics have you sent in the last 3 months/6 months/year? the only time i ever did this i accidentally sent it to the good people at Butterball. now THAT was an awkward Thanksgiving.

3. do you prefer to send pics of your boobs or vajayjay (pussy)? remember when that word used to be funny with Mrs. Slocombe?

4. do you prefer to receive pics of boobs or a woman's genitals? that's never happened to me. except that one time i worked at Butterball.

5. dick pics. do you really think they are sexy? Richard Burton, absolutely. Richard Chamberlain, of course. Robin, sure. Dick Cheney? not so much.

6. do you send unsolicited pics of your genitals? no. not even if they are solicited. how did this work pre-internet? like were they mailed in a manila envelope?

7. are you more impressed and willing to get to know, meet-up with, date, or have sex with someone who presents a "good dick pic" or "nice tits" pic? you can't be sure if it's really them. it could just be an eggplant or balloons.

bonus: just how sexy are you? my mom says i'm handsome so i'll go with that.


eat lots of turkey. sleep for the next four years.


Pete Symes said...

LOL So you sent one to Butterball too. I am glad I wasn't the only Holiday Baster they received.

the late phoenix said...

pete: it's confusing when the same turkey baster is found in both the Thanksgiving meal prep and sex-toy sections :)

HTMIT and happy thanksgiving