Monday, May 30, 2016


1. who are you? read the entirety of this blog (even the hardcore porn stuff in the back)

2. what is your purpose in this world? to type

3. what do you need to be sexually happy? a mop

4. have you found true love? 42. Jackie Robinson or Douglas Adams, both work grandly.

5. how do you nourish yourself? with prayer and pink lemonade. prayer only found in the room of a monastic postulant. and pink lemonade personally squeezed by the rugged hands of a sunhat-wearing Paul Newman himself.

6. do you crave more or less sex now versus 2 years ago? it's supposed to lessen as men get older, right? so what's wrong with me? i think it has to do with the fact that every so often i wake up and think i'm late for the bus which will drive me to school for that 8th-grade pop quiz i didn't study for cos i was too busy pretending to be He-Man.

7. are you having sex more or less now versus 2 years ago? wait, what's sex again?

8. who's sexier---the 20-year-old you or the you right now? we're all the same perverted beast, see pic above. Absalom from One Piece, not Paul Newman.

bonus: think back to your last sexual encounter---were you emotionally present? why or why not? what? just kidding. it's like Sipowicz said, "i haven't had sex sober in 20 years..."



Jules said...

Waking up as an 8th grader He-Man means you'll never leave puberty. That and the pink lemonade rush means you will be feverishly fervent forever. PS: I didn't plan that alliteration, it just happened. *)

the late phoenix said...

the best laid plans of mice and men..................are m's *)