Monday, May 16, 2016
TMIT: NOBODY LOVES ME
cos that second Being Human vampire always got overshadowed by smoldery John Mitchell. even though vampires have no shadow.
1. have you ever had bad sex? why do you think it was bad? well, only once. the cheese was a little runny but the two pepperonis were on point.
2. have you ever given bad sex? why did that happen? i told an off-color joke trying to be funny but it was offensive. it let all the air out of the room. it deflated my doll and for that i am eternally sorry. i blew her back up the next morning with some complimentary breakfast in bed. and some compliments.
3. what instantly puts you in a bad mood? when the computer doesn't work. how can i express to you how i feel about the computer not working if the computer's not working?
4. have you been hurt during a sexual activity? what was the activity? how were you hurt or injured? we were told to pretend to be an animal having sex in the wild. the babe was a bunny, the hunk was a tiger, and on my card it said Hippopotamus. that hurt my feelings. i tried the best i could but i rolled into the sharp corner of the doctor's desk. i had to watch the couple going at it as i was ordered to play Hungry Hungry Hippos in the corner as some sort of childhood regression thing. the balls joke at the end of the session didn't help. yeah i'm going to a different therapist next week.
5. during sex, what instantly turns you off? when i see my bony gyrating butt in the mirror. it's just weird.
6. bad sex---is there really such a thing? not a fan of pineapple on my pizza................oh what could have been...
BONUS: biting during sex--- a) do you like it? b) do you do it?
a) CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
b) CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
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