Monday, June 29, 2015


1. are you privy to a secret about a famous person? do you read gossip about famous people in magazines or online? i know celebrity gossip is just meant to distract the populace from secret world events, but a conscious uncoupling will always be more interesting than a treaty. did you know that the REAL head of the Illuminati is Harvey Levin?

hey have you ever noticed that Clark Kent looks EXACTLY like Superman? like EXACTLY. i mean except for the glasses, EXACT MATCH.

Billy Corgan was the brother on Small Wonder. having a robot sister was stressful, Billy never slept again keeping watch over her, terrified she'd lose power and short-circuit and he'd get blamed. that explains the losing of all the hair. the original title of "Disarm" was "Deactivate".

Marilyn Manson was the nerd sidekick on The Wonder Years. everyone knows that, but did you know that Marilyn originally sang the opening theme song of that show before Cocker did his take on the Beatles? they had to scrap it cos it was just this weird kid screaming into a microphone.

2. is a coworker, friend, or neighbor currently having an affair? are you? of course not. remember A Current Affair? that was my jam back when there were only three channels to browse through and you turned the knob by hand when you were alone on a lazy Friday afternoon waiting for the pizza to come in thirty minutes or it's free.


i wonder whatever happened to Maury. that show got me into true crime. thanks to that show i shuttered my blinds and never stepped foot outside my house again. to this day.

3. have you ever had a secret that made you the subject of gossip? once a blonde friend of mine and i were on top of the school-fair ferris wheel with our faces smushed close together. a couple of my so-called friends saw this and started rumoring and soon it spread like wild cotton candy and the entire school designated me some sort of pimp or something for being the first one in my class to kiss. but we weren't kissing, we were just making weird faces to each other trying to get the other to laugh. come on, we were just innocent kids.

4. do you like hearing gossip? what's your bag?: sex, drugs, (rock 'n' roll), lies, betrayal: i heard a rumor that Chinese Democracy is finally gonna drop soon but only online.

5. do you pass gossip on when you hear it? for a price. three gobstoppers and not a gobstopper less. and they better be everlasting or i'm coming back for you after school and we'll settle it at that grotto area where the priests all live with the principal.

6. do you consider telling your spouse/partner consistent with your promise not to be a tattletale? is he/she trustworthy with secrets? i don't have a spouse. i wonder if this has something to do with my inability to keep secrets. i'm sorry i'm sorry but the priests raised me to never tell a lie.

BONUS: what is one private thing you'd like to know about someone? what's your sign? i mean size. i saw some cute rainbow panties the other day...


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