Monday, June 8, 2015


1. ever had an orgasm at work? how? details: i was outside taking a smoke break in the fetal position i mean lotus position, with my eyes closed as you can see from the pic up above there. it just happened. biggest gusher of my life. it watered all the surrounding greenery of the rolling hills for days. afterwards i had a Coke. my tank was empty.

2. do you ever fantasize about your significant other while at work? i don't have an SO but i do fantasize about what it would be like to have a job. is there a connection there?

3. how old was the oldest person with whom you've had sex? how old is Santa?

4. have you ever fallen asleep during sex? yes, it's the only way i can have sex. and then i wake up. this is how it went down, see the pic up above for reference:

Mr. Sandman sprinkles some powder on my nose while i'm in bed.
me: Santa?
Mr. Sandman: no, another old man, we all look the same. i'm Mr. Sandman. like the boxer.
me: haven't made it to that level yet, i'm still on Bald Bull. what's this powder up my nose? will it make all my dreams come true?
Mr. Sandman: yeah that snuff i mean stuff will knock you right out to dreamland real quick.

5. have you ever cross-dressed or worn undergarments of the opposite sex? yes, i find that doing ballet and other cross-training helps with my agility around the tennis court.

bonus: you have the power to banish one person from earth, who would you banish? me. i don't want to live on this planet anymore. i want to live on Gallifrey...


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