Friday, April 26, 2013

THE OFFICE UK WAS THE BETTER ONE...


GIFSoup
i crack up every time i see the babe in red corpse during the scene above, i did the very same thing as she the first time i saw this episode in real time and every time i've seen a repeat, it never gets old, it induces the laughter every time. i would have corpsed, too, professional actor that i aspire to be.

folks, i'm giving up porn. now the last time i made such a pledge, it lasted for one day. let's see what happens later tonight...

i wonder if i should lift the warning-label page barrier from this blog, as long as this blog lasts, anyway. no, probably not a good idea. uh oh, sex and all that it stands for is drawing me back in...

hey, what is going on over at the Doctor Who boards?! i went to imdb as usual after last week's episode, which happened to be the first good episode so far this half of the season, love-story ghost-story, and was confronted with more anti-Americanism than usual from the British typers. i always thought British resentment of Americans was more of an inside joke between both countries, but i guess it's still real and alive. but why? didn't we resolve our differences with a few skirmishes, a war, *White House burning*, something about the price of tea? let's all have a spot of tea and move on. love, people, love will bring us together. i recently met a very lovely British woman and we're...uh, well, i've said too much, wink wink. but seriously, we all know the deal: Americans are dumb and uncultured, yes, very true, British humor is more subtle, agreed, that's why i love it. i am here today to say that i am an ardent Anglophile, i love everything about British culture, i'm in love with the accent, it makes everyone seem smart when they use that accent, British telly shows have always started the trends the American shows follow, they are always the inspiration for our shows across the pond, so you guys have the superior foresight there, no argument. Three's Company came from a British show, that's enough for me to convert. also, British shows take way more risks, i mean just look at Skins. Skins UK was an honest, cutthroat masterpiece of teenage life which never cut corners or white-washed anything when it came to the drug scenes and the sex scenes, no censoring of skin or ideas. the MTV Skins...yeah, well...it just should have never been made in the first place, i cringed when i saw the first preview trailer of it, it felt so forced and unnaturally "hip" and "dangerous", never saw a minute of the show, felt i would have betrayed the original gem, which was way more natural and true-to-life. i wouldn't call myself patriotic, i'm a pretty level-headed American, i see things for what they are, i never pretend i'm something i'm not, and my DVR is set mostly for BBC America shows, that's me, really that's me. in the immortal words of Rodney King, RIP, Celebrity Rehab alum, Dr. Drew is handsome but controversial: "can't we all just get along?"

now British food, well...yeah...though i do love Gordon Ramsay, i finally warmed up to him after he had three shows of his on American television at once, three shows a week, *overexposure*, you can't help but fall in love with the ol' grump, he has a heart of gold underneath, it's all an act mostly, right? i mean, if he behaved like that with his wife and kids off-camera, he'd have drop-died of a stress heart attack years ago...

i was gonna post a PORN LESSONS: LEARNED edition today here at this spot, i picked out a nicely-filmed porn between a sexy secretary and her boss fucking on the board-room table complete with cumshot ending in front of everyone's view because the office was a square room of pure glass. one of the "learned"s was gonna be my observation of how the glass-cleaners deserved an extra pension for keeping the viewing area nice and spotless for any perv passersby and the audience at home, but...remember, i've given up porn for life, so...if you really want to see it, email me. i'm expecting zero emails on this.

can you guys tell me what my cat is doing, is he communicating, is it a sign, or is he just crazy as we long have suspected? whenever my cat is done using the litter box, he races like an Olympic sprinter out of my room through the ajar-door, it's like he's embarrassed or something and wants to exit the area as soon as he's finished. could it have something to do with the fact that there's an angled scratching-post toy a few steps ahead of the litter box with a hidden ball inside of it that try as he might, the cat can never fully tear out? i dunno, he loves to play with that toy, he won't let a little natural-business get in the way of his playtime, but there are other times when he seems to be looking far afield, he rushes out after the bathroom break, almost crashing into the toy on his way out. i've thought about moving the toy to another part of the room, but it's awfully cramped in there, don't know where i'd put it. i could sleep with the toy on top of me, i do need to file my nails in a more healthy way than biting them. i'm not metrosexual, and i'm not sanitary, and i don't have OCD, well a little, it's that i think too much.

I ATE THE BONES! gonna have the boneless KFC 2-pc meal tonight for the first time, i'm so excited i could burst.

i'm feeling a little better today, but like the porn, it never lasts...

.






4 comments:

Ella said...

I'm wearing my Bigger on the Inside shirt as I type this. I thought that was funny, maybe its just me.

the late phoenix said...

Ella, I love it when you visit! yes, I recently got a brand new dark-blue Tardis t-shirt for my birthday and I treasure that thing more than I do this blog...

Juliette said...

Well OBVIOUSLY I'm going to agree with EVERYTHING you said being and English chick and all ;)

Yes - Our Office was way better. It had Ricky Gervais for a start. As was our Shameless and Skins ..yes.

However, I do like American shows also like - Breaking Bad and Fringe and Criminal Minds and Person of Interest. But the best thing on telly is Game of Thrones. End of.

Moving swiftly and effortlessly onto the English not liking the Americans. Nah - not true. Why you're our biggest allies right? You got our back we got yours? I mean remember where you came from innit! I can only apologise on the behaviour of such reprobates because in any country, there's always a bunch of tossers. If you mix with the more refined and intellectual of our little green land then you'll find good mates :) But remember, sarcasm is what we live on 'cos it's always raining and we may seem a little harsh or rude to some Americans. I know this from experience. But I love you all and find you, on the whole, to be a very friendly and open bunch of lovelies.

Best of luck on the giving up porn thing..I thought Lent was over? I give you 72 hours max. I think you may have got through a lot of Doritos and Legends of Zelda by then.

the late phoenix said...

I love everything Ricky Gervais stands for, I even loved his early music career.

3 days? you have more faith in me than my **** does.

I have only loved one English woman in my lifetime...and her name is Juliette...