fronty complete: you thought the Cobain punk on the skateboard was gonna have purple spiked hair, huh? naw, had to color his hair in tribute to Kurt's ultimate golden long locks.
click on this fronty pic of The Store to end this skin series. a new life has emerged from my belly, a baby phoenix...a baby phoenix also destined to be late. i'm a father. may the Wiccan Goddess have mercy on us all.
one thing i finally learned Tuesday:
my sadness jacket has stretched to its furthest point,
and i'm feeling beyond sad.
what is beyond sad?
acceptance is one of the steps, right?
i was born a loner and i shall die one,
as permanent as my brown eyes,
as unchangeable as my heartbeat, as ineffable as the wind
that steers the air of my shaky path.
dumb, ba-dum, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
the mistakes and trials weren't teaching moments,
they were bits of realization of a fate long-ago moulded
by some sneaky devils in white lab coats
who are too bored to snicker at how long it took for me to figure it out.
i'm dumb, ba-dum, hmmmmmmmmmm
i'm sad for many things:
random acts of violence
overcoming random acts of kindness,
the storage of my love going unclaimed,
left to spoil into milky clumps of waste rocks,
could that milk have fed the next President?
you're dumb, ba-dum, hmmmmmmmmmm
sad over The Store's lack of Bjork's Biophilia
and that puffed rice i used to enjoy,
sad that the only laugh that spurts from these lips now
comes from a stupid youtube video,
i the so-very-removed audience of some quirky nothing-air prank or truism spouted
over the internet waves, quick, i have to hide my spontaneous laugh
from my folks, must maintain my emo cred.
they're coming, ba-dum, hmmmmmmmmm
sad over so many things
which i have forgotten now.
did i type the right thing?
was it apt for the situation?
did i stop caring because they didn't care,
or was it that i never cared. who cared less first?
being alone is fate,
it's right and proper,
it accounts myself to the cause of thinking
of why this happened,
i have the time, space, freedom, and wind to carry on my thinking-cap duties,
i will meditate into oblivion
dumb, dumb, numb, da-bum, hmmmmmmmmm
i read and know in the book that B comes after A,
but as for the meaning of it all, there is none,
no meaning, never was, save the one we attach to these squiggly lines on a page:
A and B, you say? if you say so.
dumb and becoming numb, numb, a bum, hmmmmmmmmm
clearer outside-sight is not good,
you see horrible things about yourself, other people, and the world you shouldn't.
insight is better,
you can lie to yourself safely in a computer cocoon.
da da da dala la la la
da dalal da la la l da l
da da lal lla da alla
la la lda laid d a d a a
what's beyond sadness?
i'm numb, a numb bum.
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