Monday, May 7, 2012

TMIT: M IS FOR MASTURBATION














pic 4 from the top: last night...

pic 11 from the top: what i used last night...

DIAL M FOR MURDER...DIAL M FOR MASTURBATION


love how sex and culture are mixed and combined, i agree, you can't have one without the other ("love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a ")

1. how often do you masturbate? i masturbate more than i breathe, i masturbate more than my heart takes a beat every second

2. what are you doing to celebrate Masturbation Month? living, just living my life...

3. do you like to watch your partner masturbate?
a) yes, it turns me the hell on
b) it gets my partner froggy
c) no, it's as boring as my life
d) total turn-off
e) never had such an experience, do tell

again, i'm pretending that i have a partner here, i'm operating under false pretenses, which my psychiatrist says is a dangerous no-no for me, but here goes: of COURSE i want my babe of a girlfriend to jill off, that's fucking hot as hell, and it's, like, healthy, too, right? but mostly it's hot as fucking hell!!! baby, go for it, attack that moist cunt with your fingers, let me slurp up all of your juices, better than morning coffee

4. do you let your partner watch you masturbate?
a) i get a funny feeling in my pants when i'm watched
b) sometimes, it gets my babe aroused
c) embarrassing RED FACE!!!
d) i'm an experience-virgin

early and often...i figure why not be comfortable around each other...the more comfortable, the better and hotter the sex...now when we start getting into golden showers and the brown stuff, stuff like that, well, let's just say that i better know your last name for that stuff...i once called a woman i was seeing a hot bitch while we were fucking...Carrie, baby, i'm sorry...call me...my phone works now

5. mutual masturbation, yay or nay? SPRAY

6. Masturbate-a-thon 2012, if you had an all-expenses-paid ticket to go there to San Fran, would you go and masturbate the hell out of the place? sure, it's near my loner apartment, so why not? plus, some of my best friends are masturbators...

bonus: are you addicted to masturbating? :) :D ;) :P ;P :O XD .....um, no *sheepish grin*





CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY







.

10 comments:

Nolens Volens said...

Thanks for the pics...made me chuckle.

Atiya Luv said...

love the pics as always, i used one for my blog months ago "the faded one"...
hehe, you and I have a few things in common I see!!

thanks for sharing :)

Jack and Jill said...

The James Bond rotary phone is awesome. I need one of those.

Your answer to #5 was quite possibly the greatest one in the history of anything.

Your loner apartment is in San Francisco's famed Mission District?

-Jack

the late phoenix said...

nv: saving chuckle

atiya: i couldn't let any of these demotivational posters go! :)

jj: the rotary was elegant, now we use our phones for porn

sexsational said...

*snorts and chokes on coffee at 5*

BiLikesSciFi said...

This is my first visit to your blog. I adore your humor!

Hedone said...

2. hahaha...goes with #1

4. lmao

Bonus: :)

-H

the late phoenix said...

sex: my babe's vagina juice > my morning Starbucks

bi: thanks, i'm always considering whether or not to continue this blog, i have a think every week about this...

H: it's the brown stuff that will kill us all off in the end

Dru said...

Where do you get your images from? You never disappoint each week LOL.

the late phoenix said...

dru: well, the drugs are starting to wear off...