Monday, February 13, 2012
TMIT: VALENTINE'S, STILL NOT SURE
1. Cupid is the god of desire, affection, and erotic love. as the myth goes, whoever gets shot by Cupid's arrow is filled with uncontrollable desire. whom would you like Cupid to shoot on your behalf? i keyed in on the word SHOOT...oh, but it's love arrows, not...okay, well, never mind, then
2. after dinner at the FUCK YOU restaurant, while feeling amorous, you crack open some fortune cookies. interpret:
a) "your patience will be rewarded": i'll finally gain something from all this typing
b) "try something new": it's time for me to live (can only try this once)
c) "tis better to give than receive": that's a sex joke, right?
3. what is your special Valentine's message? Valentine's Day is a fraud, so have sex on this day, that way you'll be sending the message of FUCK YOU to all the candy- and flower-sellers, and you will be FUCKING, which is always by itself a good thing. see, double-sided *fuck* twinship with the word there
4. doin' something special for Valentine's or just another day? if it was just another day, i'd be crying: sad face: :(, but on Valentine's, i'll be more whimsical about things: whimsical face: :D + :I
5. as you give chocolate to your sweetheart for Valentine's, you realize that the chocolate is in the shape of your?:
a) cock: 99.99999% of all men surveyed
b) Harry Potter Wand: .00001%
c) heart of everlasting love for you, my woman, my lady, my queen <-------only I said that, only i said that out of a million men who were surveyed, i'm a little different from the crowd
bonus: what is the message on your own personalized valentine heart candy? man, those things are good, huh? i swallow those things up like a vacuum every year. can't stand those yellow, gooey Peeps, though, the baby duck candy, those things are gross.
my message? simple: TWO LOVE <------better than ONE LOVE, huh? huh? yeah...
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