Monday, February 27, 2012


1. you are sitting alone in a restaurant because your lunch date is late. do you

a) make out with the babe carrying the water
b) wait to make sure she's not dead, then compose an orchestral interlude in her honor
c) send her a text proclaiming the death of romance, her, and life in general
d) wait 20 minutes, then text another pal out of the sewers to join you for lunch

let me stop you right there, it's none of these, i have always eaten at restaurants alone, that's what we type do, it's our Way, it's our lonely lot in life...

2. what's more important, a romantic relationship or your career? career? i have a career in writing, not writing to get published and famous mind you, but rather writing to keep me sane, writing all the very weird things that pop into my head onto my little laptop here, my lappy, my computer friend here, to keep me stable and avoid me taking another pill. so, yes, i'd like a romantic relationship. any takers?

3. of the following, what's most likely to be your role-play kink?:

a) doctor/naughty nurse
b) gardener/hoe (ho)
c) persnickety principal and wayward student in need of a spanking
d) me Tarzan, you Jane
e) scattered-brain boss and seductive secretary

as a world-renowned lover of wordplay, i MUST choose C simply for the awesome words *persnickety* and *wayward*, but in my heart, i want to be a naughty doctor who develops a green thumb and works in the garden to blow off some steam...there's so much potential with that scenario...

4. when you want sex, who makes the first move?

a) me, i go for it
b) sometimes me, sometimes her
c) her, i'll never admit nor tell of my deep desire
d) i drop subtle hints hoping she'll realize and recognize

when i want sex, i tend to black out. when i come to, i've apparently CUMMED to, because the two of us are invariably on the dirty couch covered in semen and vagina juice, handcuffed to each other, with cum bubbles dancing in a lovely row on top of our heads

5. what best describes your lovemaking attitude?

a) vanilla: boring society's standards
b) adventurous
c) kinky
d) trisexual, "I will try anything once, twice if i like it, three times to make sure."---MAE WEST

how can ANYONE go against the solemn words of Mae West?! she is our sex savior, i get down on my knees and---after i do THAT---i pray to her every night.

6. what is the seductive sweet nothing you whisper into the ear of that sexy woman you want? "i want to have sexs with you, i think you're, like, really hot, do you want to stick it into me? please?"

bonus: what's your idea of a romantic getaway? IHOP, those mini syrup pourer carafe bottles are collectibles.




Jeenee said...

This is fun! Is that Dakota Blue Richards in the second photo?

Jack and Jill said...

Of all your hilarious answers, #4 and the bonus question made us laugh the hardest.

the late phoenix said...

jeenee: not sure, but on second inspection, it could very well be her. man, now i'm missing SKINS all over again. thanks for the add, babe :)

jj: there's something inherently funny about the word *pourer*

Slyde said...

i really dont like to initiate.. i find it much more fun when SHE does.. that way i know she wants it BAD....

Mia Wallace said...

#4 made me laugh! "Vagina juice" sounds like something you enjoy a glass of in the morning. Cum bubbles on your heads... The imagery was awesome!

KaziGrrl said...

Great, great answers! I think #4 was my favourite too, though your take on each of the question wordings had me howling :)
Apparently they don't let me out much!

~Kazi xxx

Ashly Star said...

I always love reading your answers, so freaking funny. Especially 6 and the bonus. Plus, some IHOP's I've been in whilst traveling have little vases with cheap plastic flowers in them. Totally setting the mood there. ;)

Hedone said...

Love the pics of the waiting, stood up or dumped.

2. I'll take you. I like your nipples and you're quirky and creative. What more could a girl ask for?

3. "i want to be a naughty doctor who develops a green thumb and works in the garden to blow off some steam...there's so much potential with that scenario..." would think so.

(glad you like my choice of words "persnickety and wayward". BTW, I need a spanking)

4. Don't know what to say...will now close my dropped jaw.

6. lol lol know, silence can be your friend. ;p

Bonus: Still laughing...

Have a great week. Loved your crazy responses.


the late phoenix said...

slyde: good tip, good tip

mia: the sparkling Vagina Juice is the best flavor

kazi: i know the feeling

ashly babes: *whilst*, i like that. babe, i want to eat some pancakes with you some time, pancakes drenched, and i mean DRENCHED, in maple syrup...

hedone: my nipples have been getting the most airtime the three years or so i've been doing this blog thing...for some reason...

Katie Archer said...

totally agree with Jack & Jill...#4 cracked me up & the bonus answer was the best to make me laugh...

the late phoenix said...

K ARCH: we all need a laugh sometimes, me: all the time