Monday, February 27, 2012
TMIT: SEX AND ROMANCE
1. you are sitting alone in a restaurant because your lunch date is late. do you
a) make out with the babe carrying the water
b) wait to make sure she's not dead, then compose an orchestral interlude in her honor
c) send her a text proclaiming the death of romance, her, and life in general
d) wait 20 minutes, then text another pal out of the sewers to join you for lunch
let me stop you right there, it's none of these, i have always eaten at restaurants alone, that's what we type do, it's our Way, it's our lonely lot in life...
2. what's more important, a romantic relationship or your career? career? i have a career in writing, not writing to get published and famous mind you, but rather writing to keep me sane, writing all the very weird things that pop into my head onto my little laptop here, my lappy, my computer friend here, to keep me stable and avoid me taking another pill. so, yes, i'd like a romantic relationship. any takers?
3. of the following, what's most likely to be your role-play kink?:
a) doctor/naughty nurse
b) gardener/hoe (ho)
c) persnickety principal and wayward student in need of a spanking
d) me Tarzan, you Jane
e) scattered-brain boss and seductive secretary
as a world-renowned lover of wordplay, i MUST choose C simply for the awesome words *persnickety* and *wayward*, but in my heart, i want to be a naughty doctor who develops a green thumb and works in the garden to blow off some steam...there's so much potential with that scenario...
4. when you want sex, who makes the first move?
a) me, i go for it
b) sometimes me, sometimes her
c) her, i'll never admit nor tell of my deep desire
d) i drop subtle hints hoping she'll realize and recognize
when i want sex, i tend to black out. when i come to, i've apparently CUMMED to, because the two of us are invariably on the dirty couch covered in semen and vagina juice, handcuffed to each other, with cum bubbles dancing in a lovely row on top of our heads
5. what best describes your lovemaking attitude?
a) vanilla: boring society's standards
d) trisexual, "I will try anything once, twice if i like it, three times to make sure."---MAE WEST
how can ANYONE go against the solemn words of Mae West?! she is our sex savior, i get down on my knees and---after i do THAT---i pray to her every night.
6. what is the seductive sweet nothing you whisper into the ear of that sexy woman you want? "i want to have sexs with you, i think you're, like, really hot, do you want to stick it into me? please?"
bonus: what's your idea of a romantic getaway? IHOP, those mini syrup pourer carafe bottles are collectibles.
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