Monday, February 6, 2012


1. a friend is coming over to have sex, there are 3 twin beds and an air mattress in the room. what do you do?
a) who needs a bed? land and fuck wherever
b) have sex on the single twin mattress
c) sex on the air mattress
d) or? your solution?

i'm ALWAYS the OR/OTHER/PATH LEAST TAKEN/ALTERNATIVE guy, i say a no-mattress orgy on the dirty kitchen floor, first to cum cleans up the floor. but actually, the mere fact that i HAVE friends and am HAVING sex in this scenario has blinded me immovable, i can't really think after that, nor make multiple-choice decisions...

2. what is the oddest thing in your bedroom? why is it there? a door. why? i know, right? i mean, it's not like i do something under the sheets in my bedroom chronically three times a day that i would be embarrassed about someone looking through the open door and seeing. yes, yes, okay, well, my door is in fact double-locked with a key only i have and have eaten, i swallowed the key so no one can get to it, triple-combination lock, only i know the combination: the combination code is my maid/lover's name

3. what are your favorite sheets?
a) flannel
b) cotton
c) t-shirt cotton (jersey)
d) satin

i like to take a SHEET whenever the urge presents itself...what, too soon?

4. do you sleep with sheets tucked in or out? why? i tried to sleep once in a tucked-in cocoon, became a never got the chance to sleep tucked-out...on account that i'm now a butterfly...i fly around, don't need no stinkin' human bed

5. what is your usual bedtime and why?
a) 8-10PM
b) 10-12 midnight
c) 12-24
d) whenever my eyes close

i like to wait after midnight, then i get myself a snack, someone told me once that you shouldn't eat after midnight...something about Gremlins

6. do you sleep with bedroom or closet doors shut or open? reasons? see above, the Gremlins attacked, so i like to keep things open so i can see. the times when I MYSELF become a Gremlin, it's a moot point, so i can close doors, it doesn't matter anymore after that, for i become the monster that i'm afraid of

7. have you broken a bed or other furniture during sex? of course, i only engage in rough sex, there is no nice in me, i take all of my love-making cues from one R PATTZ in the Twilight Saga, you know when he fucks the shit out of Bella in that one scene and he breaks the bed in the process, all in the name of producing beautiful's more a science thing than a sex pleasure thing

8. what's your favorite type of bed for sex? i rarely use a bed, i'm content with the dirt ground, but...well, if i'm a cool dude, i say WATERBED, if i'm a freak, i say LOVE SWING, if i'm a cool freak...ah, to be a cool freak...

9. what do you sleep in?
a) lingerie
b) underwear
c) day clothes
d) t-shirt
e) nothing

i so want to say lingerie, but that wouldn't be truthful, and comedy is all about truth. honestly, it's my day clothes, i'm a grungey artist through and through, what can i say?




KaziGrrl said...

Howdy, fellow Gremlin! ;)

I'm all about the roughness too but don't have a cool headboard to tear apart like Edward did LOL
You'll have to tie me down instead ;)

~Kazi xxx

Vincent Vega said...

Funny answers this week. I especially liked your Twilight half-breed reference. Too funny.

Missed Periods said...

You turning into a butterfly is very Kafkaesque. Sorry, I just never had an opportunity to refer to something as Kafkaesque. It wasn't as gratifying as I thought it would be. Bummer.

Jack and Jill said...

As usual, your answers make us laugh. We are both very pleased to say that we didn't understand the Twilight reference.

the late phoenix said...

kazi: yummy

vince: it's those quarter-breeds that you have to watch out for, they're the quiet ones...

missed: Kafka remains to this day one of my all-time literary heroes. it meant something to me, it meant something to me

j/j: that scene was hot, and that birthing scene...WOW. it's strange, i'm really not TRYING to Twilight out, but these opportunities just seem to present themselves somehow

Magz Killgore said...

Im so glad Im not the only person who sleeps in their day clothes.
Grungy artist power.

Hedone said...

1. :) :)

Speaking of cleaning up cum off the kitchen floor. This morning I devoured KG's cock in the kitchen before he left for work. I had him cum on my ass because I love that he doesn't do it often enough. Well some hit the kitchen floor. I have maple wood floors in the kitchen. That cum wouldn't mop up for anything! It just kept smearing. I had to get on my hands and knees with Dawn dish liquid and paper towel to clean it up.

2. No matter. All those locks won't keep me out. I peer at you through the window. Mmm. One of these days I'm going to climb in and climb on ;-)

3. ROFL...(groan)

You're so quirky-sexy. Have a great week!


the late phoenix said...

magz: we're two sides of the same grunge coin. hi, babe, long time no chat, come visit more often ;)

hedone: 1) that KG is one lucky lucky person. i'd love to see a pic of you down on your Dawn knees

2) mmmm, yeah, baby, ride it, but make sure to ride it before i cum...after and it gets awkward

viemoira said...

Why would you sleep with your sheet? :/