Friday, January 12, 2018



* where's Megyn Kelly? she forgot her shoes.

* Von Miller: you won't smell me coming.

* Aaron Rodgers: i get the high chair.

* Damian Lillard: i burned my hand on the stove when i was a kid. didn't feel a thing.

* DeAndre Hopkins: nuk if you buck

* Garbine Muguruza: not exactly sure why Pharrell chose me...

* Jeremy Lin: you better not cut me. i'll find out if you do.

* Kris Bryant: i like clowns.

* Lindsey Horan: Hope Solo had an appointment.

* Paige Tapp: really i have the perfect name for a volleyball player. my name is on the back of my jersey.

* Pusha T: pusha play.

* Alexander Wang: i love Jeremy Lin.

* Candace Parker: i still say i'm hotter than Sue Bird.

* Chiney Ogwumike: i've scored more than Beckham.

* David Beckham: this long hair has not worked for me. not once my entire life.

* Derrick Rose: i was better than Jordan the five games i played.

* James Harden: the beard has now petrified. it is impenetrable to any of Favre's razors.

* Karlie Kloss: i thought it was cute when the press dubbed me Kloss Floss. then i went onto the internet.

* Kristaps Porzingis: really should have waited till after i got a nickname before printing those shirts. they could have had a unicorn on them and everything.

* Lionel Messi: i was told there would be tacos here. that's why i'm not saying anything. where's Cristiano? Cristiano said he would cook some of his famous tacos for me here. that's why i'm not talking. i'm just here for the tacos.

* Paul Pogba: i've scored more than Beckham.

* PK Subban: one day i'll just be a hockey player.

* Tracy McGrady: i'm like the Andy Roddick of basketball. oh well, i have the best job in the world now...

* Pharrell: i'm not happy. i'm not happy at all.


happy weekend , my babies. Justice League Action preempted again. i wish i lived in Canada.

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