Wednesday, April 18, 2018


Gladyce and Doryce are lost running around the city which refers to walking. but they are having a gay old time cos they're together lost.

Gladyce: penaten.

Doryce: i know, right? terrible name for a baby butt cream. the poor dearie is gonna grow up to be slammed in the penitentiary!

Gladyce: look at these vitamins, dear. OLLY vitamins. fancy. only found on the Asian markets?

Doryce: everything that is a unique take on an old thing can only originate from Japan. there is no other starting point, it's what they do here. i'm leery of vitamins. i can skateboard on my own.

Gladyce: love is my drug. get those skateboard punks when they're young and still have training wheels on their boards.

Doryce: i'm rubbing off on you! for the worse but at our age it doesn't matter anymore. while they can still compete in the Olympics. i sense we are being followed.


Jeb Bush takes penitent footsteps darkening his new temporary room. he pushes the door and the Yoshito tries to move but hasn't the will. he hangs his head low as a dog so his key doesn't quite fit. he slumps on the bed and covers his large face with his big hands. Barbara Bush sits beside her baby son comforting his shoulder with her stern willowy branch of an arm.

Barbara: there there Jebsy. i hold you as i would any baby. before when touch wasn't used for screens. i'll kiss anyone. i'm fine. i'm with Robin. and she's fine. i'm more worried about the ol' Skydiver. i think he was jealous of me. he wanted to be the Enforcer of the family. the patriarch, but i was always too busy taking his name. how is Georgsy. in Maine that's how we talk, everyone is -sy.

Jeb: *face like a beefsteak tomato* Barnsey is fine. don't know about Dad. he's a wreck. he held your hand till the very end. i'm a mess. i miss you so much, mom. i feel i let you down. i could have won that Presidential run...

Barbara: i feel for him. to lose the love of your long life is the lonelieset of lonelies. it's become a Jessica Tandy/Hume Cronyn situation for me. i won't engage in rumor as i've never done. speculation sells but may incur the wrath of Nikki Haley. i just praise it up to my faith in Ferris Bueller. it's better to have dignity than a dictatorship. but i still have a few old friends at the Justice Department i'm keeping an eye on. i can really look after them now. no secrets. no you couldn't have. but i'm at peace with it. look at me, look at your mother.

Jeb turns around to see his mother's bright white hair turn back brown. she smiles gently.

Barbara: the old ways are scoffed at. they are accused of being genteel but they were at least gentle. in front of the scenes. they serve as the bedrock, and even old wrinkle-filled fossils like me will melt into the lava of nostalgia. time flies, and in the blink of an eye it's all over. now pull yourself together and get ready for Jamie Gangel's interview. here she is now.

the crone knocks the door with her nose.

Barbara: hello, Jamie, how are you. nice to see you again.

Jamie: hello. madam, i see that you are well.

Jeb: oh. you're nice and everything but you're getting old. i was hoping for Robin Meade. can i see her? got any more of those perfectly-good paratrooping planes in the back?

Barbara: that's why we agreed to that interview. and that specific HLN correspondent. Robin.


in another adjacent alley, the two top lawyers Jill Wine-Banks and Joyce Vance decide to split a room and end up on the floor. kissing and tearing each others' clothes off and kissing some more.

Jill: i couldn't take my eyes off you. when we were on MSNBC this morning together. you were in the Hollywood square just below me. like i am now on top of you. two boxy dames. you have such a command of the law. it rivals mine. and you're so cute cos you're one year younger than me. not really but who's counting. ravish me you raven-haired goddess! they're right, i really need to expand my options, there's more to life than blondes!

Joyce: you are so hot! you really have an engine down there! we're only as old as we feel.

Jill: that's literally true in my case.

Joyce: thank you for this hot comfort. you've helped me heal. i've been grieving the loss of my father for some time now.

Jill: it never goes away. and i'm an expert in time. i'm always on time. there is only now. hey what's that cute little white football with the red A you're carrying on your hip?

Joyce: my Alabama football. my good-luck charm. you won't believe where it's clipped on. here's my engagement letter.

Jill: oh honey this is no time to get married! did you say Bama? i have a friend....she's just a friend. save that football. we'll definitely use it later. you know what really sold me on you was your crooked lips when you talk. your sidemouth delivery of speech is hot. sidemouth-talking has been an attraction of ours in our clan for centuries.


back at MSNBC in the morning. the next morning. Nikki, Chris Matthews, Brian Williams.

Nikki: so how was your vacation together? it's not a bromance until you guys make it official. am i repeating myself? i don't repeat myself. i missed you guys. my guys are more rough.

Chris: it was a Holy Week like none other. i will never forget it. it was holy. we were nice to each other.

Brian: i needed the week. to recuperate from the everlasting surreal nightmare. otherwise i would never get a vacation from this.

Chris: you know i know i'm not supposed to say this, but the more Presidential you get, the hotter you get. now that i see you again up close under the hot lights...

Nikki: don't bro me if you don't know me.


in their room, which is a honeymoon suite, Molly Qerim and Jalen Rose are getting busy.

Jalen: get on up..............get on up................please, now is the time!

Molly's naked ass fills the entire breadth of the room.

Jalen: baby i'm trying to take a selfie of us, getting your good side. but i can't fit all of you in the frame!

Molly: *waiting and looking disgusted* did you put it in? i can't feel it.

Jalen is trying to focus his penis in the middle of her crack to take the best picture. it fuzzes in and out.

Molly: are you even slapping me with it? my butt hasn't moved an inch.

the motel moans and superfreak shrieks begin, and last all through the night long.

Moritz Wagner deadlegs it out from under their cream bed. cream-colored sheets.

Moritz: now this THIS is what my ears have been waiting for! i shall use your sounds to create the modern opera! modern for the Instagram age! your sex shall be the template. for what is music but another orgasm? i shall experiment with sound, my i-operas shall sound like none other, grand and grandiose and grim like my grandfather. i'll be the male Bjork. what? i've had to concentrate on my music minor now. this is all CBS's fault. if Michigan had won, i'd be a bigger German star than Nowitzki or The Hof. now i'm forced to take philosophy classes with know-it-alls with big heads who get Ritz Bits with loads of cheese stuck in their handlebar broom mustaches.

Molly busties out with a "we hear ya!". Jalen is singing to himself.

Molly, Jalen, and Moritz all high-five each other in a triangular tandem, the couple Molly and Jalen in full coitus.

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