Friday, September 2, 2016



* she is expressing the low key subtle pain we all feel.

* back when commercials won awards.

* no, Maestro da Vinci, that is your kinky sex machine, remember? that won't work.

* are you one of those who reads the last chapter of a novel first?

* that's the hidden message in her mouth area: caramilk. illuminati refuted.

* Mona was known around town. she had a reputation. she was kind of goth. she never smiled.

* can you believe how this one portrait blew up? it is the very picture that represents Art. and to think Leo did this on the fly as a throwaway favor for a friend. his baby mama but still. if he had a phone he would have deleted the Mona Lisa pic to make storage-space room for more pizza apps.

* was Mona Lisa his daughter? wife? sidepiece? childhood friend? guardian angel? i'm going with his genderbent version.

* Leonardo da Vinci came up with the Vitruvian Man while thinking man could fly by flapping his wings. that landed him in the mental ward which in those days were lifetime institutions made of marble. he never gave up the idea of the birdman, however, and created the Boeing 747 a year later. nobody knew about this cos he was locked up. Leonardo invented flight. the Wright Brothers owe Leo mad royalties.

* Michelangelo was insanely jealous of Leonardo. he thought him too cool for art school, handsomer, more charming, and less of a starving artist. Leo could hoover a pizza like nobody's business. and he had a better hat. y'know all those hours Mikey broke his back painting that stupid ceiling? Mikey sent the chiropractor bill to Leo. with Roman centurions so Leo had to pay it.

* but Leo got his revenge. Leo concocted a secret green ooze that turned Mikey into a turtle. unfortunately it also turned Leo into a turtle cos it's hard not to get the ooze on your hands when you're concocting it. they waited hundreds of years for comic books to be invented.................which were invented by Leonardo hundreds of years before.


happy weekend. gotta cut my hair, it's been two months. it's become a Colin Kaepernick fro...........y'know i think i might just leave it...


Jules said...

Leonardo, we owe you. Thanks to Phoenix here, your truth has been revealed. It's all down to his long hair.

Happy weekend, my sweet *)

the late phoenix said...

happy weekend, mah dahlin. Leo was balding and wore a toupee. nobody in town made fun of him cos the wig hadn't been invented yet. incidentally Leo also invented the rug *)