Friday, March 4, 2016



* Vault Boy: doctor! do not saw off my leg with a cartoony bendy saw!
doctor: why not? it's infected.
Vault Boy: the Smurf Village is growing on it!

* Vault Boy: the radiation made me grow two legs. i now have three legs. that makes it harder for me to run. let me take some more radiation so i can grow an even four legs.

* doctor: what are you putting in your body, Vault Boy?
Vault Boy: some of those grilled hot dogs from Burger King.
doctor: Burger King hot dogs? take some more radiation, it's healthier. and drink plenty of water.
Vault Boy: a doctor once told me that our bodies are mostly water. that's why i stay away from water, i don't want to drown.

* doctor: that crab has grown. crab is a good source of protein. the more it grows, the more protein it has.
Vault Boy: the crab ate me before i could eat it.
doctor: now you know how the crab feels. the crab has always wanted to eat vault boys but never had a big enough mouth to do it.

* Vault Boy: i just put my foot in my mouth...

* doctor: ever try hula-hooping to stay in shape?
Vault Boy: my priest tells me all that gyrating is the path to Satan.

* doctor: okay, Vault Boy, you have to run this obstacle course as fast as you can. if you don't, you die.
Vault Boy: i've always wanted to be on American Gladiators.

R.I.P. Hawk

* doctor: Vault Boy! that yellow puddle you're waist-deep in is not a swimming pool!
Vault Boy: is the water yellow from radiation?
doctor: no, that's not radiation...

* narrator: hey, guys!
doctor: hi there! where have you been?
narrator: auditioned for BoJack Horseman's next season...


happy weekend


Jules said...

The fun never grows up. Happy weekend, my sweet. *)

the late phoenix said...

juli mah dahlin: this is the alternate ending to "Five Characters in Search of an Exit."

Rod Serling: i still get royalty checks these many years later. and yes, i'm gonna blow it all on cigs.