* Vault Boy: doctor! do not saw off my leg with a cartoony bendy saw!
doctor: why not? it's infected.
Vault Boy: the Smurf Village is growing on it!
* Vault Boy: the radiation made me grow two legs. i now have three legs. that makes it harder for me to run. let me take some more radiation so i can grow an even four legs.
* doctor: what are you putting in your body, Vault Boy?
Vault Boy: some of those grilled hot dogs from Burger King.
doctor: Burger King hot dogs? take some more radiation, it's healthier. and drink plenty of water.
Vault Boy: a doctor once told me that our bodies are mostly water. that's why i stay away from water, i don't want to drown.
* doctor: that crab has grown. crab is a good source of protein. the more it grows, the more protein it has.
Vault Boy: the crab ate me before i could eat it.
doctor: now you know how the crab feels. the crab has always wanted to eat vault boys but never had a big enough mouth to do it.
* Vault Boy: i just put my foot in my mouth...
* doctor: ever try hula-hooping to stay in shape?
Vault Boy: my priest tells me all that gyrating is the path to Satan.
* doctor: okay, Vault Boy, you have to run this obstacle course as fast as you can. if you don't, you die.
Vault Boy: i've always wanted to be on American Gladiators.
* doctor: Vault Boy! that yellow puddle you're waist-deep in is not a swimming pool!
Vault Boy: is the water yellow from radiation?
doctor: no, that's not radiation...
* narrator: hey, guys!
doctor: hi there! where have you been?
narrator: auditioned for BoJack Horseman's next season...
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