* South Park house
* ...waiting for the jump scare...
* Joe Pera=ASMR=Austere Sensible Measured Reasonable
* this is really smart stuff the deeper you delve into it, as you rewatch it and rewatch it. i had to watch it again cos i couldn't hear it the first time.
* you have to love sleep just the right amount. too little or too much and you're depressed.
* i visualize Katy Perry after every firework.
* race relations are a lot like filling icecube trays...................no wait, uh, nevermind. i had this thing with Ice-T but forget i said anything.
* as we venture further and further out into space and time, you have to wonder how's it gonna be: more like Star Wars or Star Trek? or the happy medium of Close Encounters?
* Stephen Hawking named his ladies on the side his boson bitches.
* the answer to everything is love. the answer to every unsolvable mathematical equation, at the end of every math proof, is love. 1+1=love. soul mates have been scientifically proven by theoretical physicists. there is only one entity out there in the universe that's your perfect match. no, not that black hole...
* that's how they make pretzels? once again, thank you to Sesame Street.
* ironically, in order to really enjoy the Snack Belt, you must remove your belt.
* barns are big sheds.
* that one round springhouse barn is the only known place where you can still hear live polka music.
* i deleted all of my embarrassing voicemails. so they're in the cloud.
* phone tag starts to lose its cute around the third go-round. hey remember when The Phantom of the Opera was the hottest ticket in town?
* baseball isn't just boring, it's scary. stick with tennis, the ball's softer.
* who says hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in sports?
* i had to look away when the extinct animals came on. you precious creatures will never die in my mind, i will memorialize all of you forever in future short stories. and i'll do a book report on Kodak, too.
* 3-D is a scam.
* no, that's not a sad scene at the bar watching college basketball, it's a mad scene, it's March Madness baby!
* Bernie Madoff in this piece represents all of our future selves, the final verdict on humanity.
* oh, i get it, the gas stove was on the whole time...
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sleepy weekend. have a lazy sunday.