Friday, March 25, 2016



* South Park house

* ...waiting for the jump scare...

* Joe Pera=ASMR=Austere Sensible Measured Reasonable

* this is really smart stuff the deeper you delve into it, as you rewatch it and rewatch it. i had to watch it again cos i couldn't hear it the first time.

* you have to love sleep just the right amount. too little or too much and you're depressed.

* i visualize Katy Perry after every firework.

* race relations are a lot like filling icecube wait, uh, nevermind. i had this thing with Ice-T but forget i said anything.

* as we venture further and further out into space and time, you have to wonder how's it gonna be: more like Star Wars or Star Trek? or the happy medium of Close Encounters?

* Stephen Hawking named his ladies on the side his boson bitches.

* the answer to everything is love. the answer to every unsolvable mathematical equation, at the end of every math proof, is love. 1+1=love. soul mates have been scientifically proven by theoretical physicists. there is only one entity out there in the universe that's your perfect match. no, not that black hole...

* that's how they make pretzels? once again, thank you to Sesame Street.

* ironically, in order to really enjoy the Snack Belt, you must remove your belt.

* barns are big sheds.

* that one round springhouse barn is the only known place where you can still hear live polka music.

* i deleted all of my embarrassing voicemails. so they're in the cloud.

* phone tag starts to lose its cute around the third go-round. hey remember when The Phantom of the Opera was the hottest ticket in town?

* baseball isn't just boring, it's scary. stick with tennis, the ball's softer.

* who says hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in sports?

* i had to look away when the extinct animals came on. you precious creatures will never die in my mind, i will memorialize all of you forever in future short stories. and i'll do a book report on Kodak, too.

* 3-D is a scam.

* no, that's not a sad scene at the bar watching college basketball, it's a mad scene, it's March Madness baby!

* Bernie Madoff in this piece represents all of our future selves, the final verdict on humanity.

* oh, i get it, the gas stove was on the whole time...


sleepy weekend. have a lazy sunday.


Jules said...

Happy Easter Eggs! Barns are just big sheds. Easter Eggs are just big tricks. *)

the late phoenix said...

that's why i can never find them on my hunts. people throw plastic eggs at my house all the time but they ain't full of jellybeans. have an eggcellent Easter, my sweet chocolate bunny *)