Friday, November 6, 2015



* fight instructor: see how i straight-blasted Ron? thanks, dad.
Ron: i'd do anything for you, son. i'll be in the hospital. visit me.
fight instructor: the one on Main?
Ron: no, that's the regular hospital. i'll be in the mental hospital, i just saw a Space Ghost.

* country: this is how we'll win the war: dayglo.
Putin: okay, i give, i admit it, you got me, i was not expecting war to be so pretty. all the pretty colors distracted my army. reminded me of the Olympics, Closing Ceremony more than the Opening one, nobody remembers the Opening one, right?

* Unabomber Speckles: i demand a squid sandwich.
butcher: you do realize i have my butcher knife right here beside me?
Unabomber Speckles: do you take bitcoin?
butcher: yes but Putin has the only real bitcoin.
Unabomber Speckles: i'll whip ya ass.
butcher: i'm into that stuff.
Unabomber Speckles: you do realize we used your voice on this phone call without your permission? you're in a famous work of art and you'll never know it.
butcher: if you say so. i'm content to be with my meat.

* ram: i wonder what the blue-pill side looks like?

* Luke: what are all these black and white lines smashing into me?
Han: the afterlife. we're all dead, we really died in the garbage compactor.
Leia: what about everything that came after the garbage compactor?
Han: dreams. wanna go out sometime?
Leia: i'm seeing Kylo Ren now.

* scientist: we discovered a new species: woodyallenites.


* patient: will i ever be normal?
psychiatrist: only if you're on drugs.

* patient: i'm starting over, i've gotten rid of my twin mattress and put my sofa bed in the wood chipper. i'm gonna make something of myself.
psychiatrist: we provide beds at the mental hospital.

* the middle finger does not denote anger, it denotes horniness.


happy weekend


Jules said...

I stick my middle finger up to "normal" oh its got the hots for me! RUN.

Happy weekend, my sweet. *)

the late phoenix said...

my hand costume's got the hots for your middle finger. yeah I often walk down the street flicking everyone off cos I'm friendly and love everyone and I get a lot of positive feedback, a lot of V for victory signs in return. happy weekend, mah dahlin *)