Monday, November 30, 2015


1. my dream vacation is to_________ everyone knows the dream by now: go on a cruise for ten days where all i do is watch obscure black-and-white existentialist films from the start of last century and dine on brandy as i canoodle with screen legends of yore. sometimes their actual ghosts. we take the canoes out and eat noodles. there's nothing like watching a classic film with water running under you. and when the vacation ends, i stowaway forever.

2. right now i'm in _______ crisis (it'll probably be over by breakfast)

3. i'm done with _______ going outside. sorry Big Papi, i tried to take your dating advice, but it's too cold out there.

4. the most enjoyable thing around the holidays is____________ roasting my nuts on an open fire. it's in these quiet moments i still my mind and talk to the reason for the season. and Jesus talks back to me.

5. dashing through the snow in a _________ coke-fueled Cyber Monday click-to-buy binge. coca-cola, coca-cola.

6. when my blog is broken, __________ i shall finally be free.

7. if only __________ i could live again...................................*puts on sonic sunglasses* but i can't regenerate CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK


bonus: i saw the most amazing ________ this last night! and scene! E.T. came back to Earth! watch:

E.T.: Elliott, i'm back. home was kind of a dump. where's your red hoodie?
Elliott: can't wear red anymore, gang colors. after you left i got so sad i never went outside. i could never see the moon again, too painful. i remembered how much you loved chocolate so i ate chocolate constantly and was close to you again. want a Reese's Pieces brownie?
E.T.: boy that ain't a brownie.



Jules said...

E.T came back home on the Coca Cola truck after a long stint at sea watching black and white movies. He found he had a roasted nut allergy and didn't get on with the lonely man on the moon. I don't know if you know but he's started up a blog about the freedom of Jesus. *)

the late phoenix said...

Elliott: come on inside and try my mom's nut roast.
E.T.: dayum i never knew your mama was a freak! i like that. but i must politely decline, i'm not a vegetarian...

you always cheer me up, babe. happy weekend, my sweet *)