* sponsor: Mr. McConaughey, don't you worry, we'll have a light trained on you at all times to keep you safe when you play your bongos buck naked in the woods.
* friend: i fly whenever i read a book.
Matt: takes you places, huh?
friend: yes. also i use my baggie of drugs as the bookmark.
* Matt checks the back camera on his Lincoln MKX.
Matt: well bust my britches and call me skeeter, THERE's my shirt! been wondering where i put that thing.
* friend: please stand still for eye scan. Matt, you passed but your eyes are a little red.
Matt: late night reading scripts.
* Matt: finger exercises...
* friend: i collect ponies....................it's not what you think...
* Matt: that's a beautiful little black dress you got on there.
woman: four friends up for anything meeting at the crossroads.
friend: so we won't be lonely.
other friend: the night, the time of danger, risk, and regret.
Matt: i know, they FINALLY put that four-way stop in there. it's nice and safe now.
* friend: my apologies...
Matt: dude, you ruined the non-verbal-communication jazzy mood.
* friend: full house, queens over jacks, read 'em and weep.
Matt: Nick at Nite is banned at our house. i got six aces of spades. i win this mansion. i'm gonna rename it the McMansion.
Matt: you making fun of me?
friend: no, i only said it once, not three times.
* sponsor: Mr. McConaughey, we spotted you laughing in our car, is everything alright?
Matt: you making fun of me? i'm alright, just happy.
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