* interviewer: what are you doing sittin' in a tree, Andrei?
interviewer: okay okay next question...
* interviewer: you almost messed up my entire interview, man, we would have had to reschedule and of course you'd bail on us at the reschedule. this environment right now is just perfect, but only right now, rainy but not too moist. i'm starting to get moist with anxiety. look, think of this as Saturday Night Live, no swearing.
Andrei: here, give me the camera, i'll do this myself.
* i love solitude. i'm a loner. i don't go to noisy parties, too noisy. whenever i get bored with myself i turn on the tv, tv solves everything (in 22 minutes). i'm the perfectly self-actualized individual according to Andrei. i typed in these traits into a job website and it spit out the following jobs it said i'd be perfect for: spit, punk rocker, tv salesman, guidance counselor, party planner, Monk (from tv).
* Andrei: after this the fellas and i are going to the Garden of Eden Club for the wrap party, you comin'?
interviewer: what? i don't know anything about this. i guess i missed the memo.
Andrei: oh shit that's right you weren't invited i wasn't supposed to tell you. sorry.
* Andrei: fabulous animal.
Andrei: no, that horse over there. Man is boring.
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