Monday, March 9, 2015





* this commercial played so much it made me nervous. incessantly at every break. i started smoking again.

* reaffirmation of how much i love pancakes


this is the story of a little boy lost in the world who knew only one thing: he loved pancakes. only pancakes would give him the gleam in his unknowing smile. it was unconscious. pictured above. he grew up in this world without syrup, slowly his sweetness turned to sourberry. he first experimented in college at a foam party. pictured above. he was too innocent for the world's vice. he just used the bubbles to get clean. later he met his wife and that love was pure. he loved her harder than diamond which he couldn't afford, deeper than the sea. the very thrust of his life had set, was hardened and in place. pictured above, both pictures. then he won the lottery. pictured above, there's the boy lost in the crowd. it was the wrong house, next house over, so he didn't get the money but he met some cool folks during the experience and went on to become one of well-dressed greeters who awards the money to folk in large checks. one day he shook the hand of Glenn who was happy for the money but knew mo money mo problems so Glenn politely declined the check. the manboy went for the brofist but Glenn brushed the side of the fist with his pinkie instead. dejected, the manboy turned around, walked off from Glenn by sunset and spent his unexpected ill-gotten gains check on pancakes but they didn't taste right, too starchy. the manboy decided that life was too complicated so he went back to being simple and alone and quiet with his modest stack of three pancakes. sirens blared, the cops came in to the international house but they passed the boy's booth.

1. spring vacation this year? where? yes. to learn where all the foam gets made.

springtime love
2. do you become friskier as the temperature outside heats up? like a squirrel rummaging through trash bags.
3. do you flirt more in the spring? i can't help it, spring has sprung, my penis has sprung, my boner makes a noise, time to fertilize the flowers.
4. do you dress sexier in the spring? if by sexier you mean bikinis, then yes.
5. what day of the week do you fuck most often? Sundays, the holy day, i never can have a Lazy Sunday like everyone else cos i'm always busy with busywork...oh i thought you meant get fucked the most often.

falling in love takes 1/5 of a second.

6. do you use kissing as an important barometer to test out a new mate? good kissers: survive and move on, bad kissers: prune and dump. i've gotten dumped then pruned before. no, i'm not like that cos what if my special someone just doesn't have the experience to be a righteous kisser yet. there is more than kissing to show affection, you can touch bellies.

7. what do you expect from marriage? a) safety/solidarity/security b) journey towards self/fulfillment/actualization with a partner that gets you. my partner gets me...a calendar every year so we can fill out all of the exciting activities we're gonna do together in the coming year for our business. love is serious business, i want a partner to grow old with, we'll be arguing like an old married monk couple, she'll say it's my turn to wash the one loincloth we share and i'll tenderly pick the nits from her beard.

8. acts of love & kindness. which would mean more to you?
a) taking to your partner a cup of tea (or receiving said tea)
b) giving/receiving chocolates box/flowers
i feed my lover each sip of iced tea, i spoon it up from the teacup and blow on it before i pour the spoonful on her tongue.

bonus: in your late teens/early 20s did you take wild spring-break vacations with friends? what is the wildest, craziest, sexiest thing you did on a *gone wild* spring break? i yearned to have a spring break like the ones i saw on MTV. it finally happened that year, i went to the foam factory and everything in preparation, it was gonna be the wildest, but the guy Joe that was supposed to be our contact got arrested.




Jules said...

How do you deal with a flirty boner in your bikini pants? Things like this interest me from a fashion pov.

Is that all it takes? 1/5 of a second? So you could fall out of love straight after the 4 minute fuck?

Washing the loincloth and blowing the tea. That sounds like an eternity of bliss.

Lets eat pancakes. *)

cammies on the floor said...

Wow, #3 better not be your pillow talk. I make mention of that because sadly some of the pillow talk directed at me has sounded like that.

the late phoenix said...

juli mah sweet: i wear assful chaps to bring out my contours. the 4 minute fuck is the dream i continue to strive for. iced tea in a teacup was the Mayans' secret. i love how pancakes get fluffy, i want to be the official pancake fluffer *)

cammies: i thought my boner went boing silently but apparently others can hear it and it really goes schwing, Archer is my school. my gardener says out loud "time to fertilize the flowers" before he starts work on my backyard each day, it's his morning mantra :)