OBSERVATION #1: glancing at my youtube videos, i've noticed something about me that's very troubling that i never noticed before. my head is weird. it's a perfect oval shape. i look like one of those Easter Island heads. my head is the shape of a very large pill. Legends of the Hidden Temple on line one...
OBSERVATION #2: there was something wrong down there all weekend, i couldn't get comfortable down there. then it hit me: i must be wearing my boxer shorts backwards. so i took my monthly shower this morning to check: nope, they were on correctly, with the tag in the back. so...then...now i'm really worried.
OBSERVATION #3: IT'S RAINING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. how can you tell when your lover is close to orgasm? when she makes that face...she makes when she's laughing at my jokes...and my big head.
2. men: have you actually seen the G Spot? no, the G Spot is a myth, right? like God. hey: G Spot, God Spot...i think i'm onto something...
3. which is the most stimulating position? missionary/ woman on top, facing man/ doggy style/ other: it's this new position i invented called the parallel anal.
4. when you orgasm, are you: silent as a church mouse/ a bit of noise/ yell out at the top of your lungs? i express the noise of gratitude that this happened to me: it's akin to the sound of a church-house creeper...too many Bad Grandpa commercials swimming around in my oval head.
5. a lover orgasms WAY too prematurely. you still haven't gotten off. what to do? stop, or continue the play until you cum? i'm usually not on the other side of this. it's okay, we can stop, i'll do whatever my beautiful lover wants. i still have a hand i can go to later after lunch.
bonus: on average, when you masturbate, how long does it take you to reach orgasm? less than 3 minutes/ 3-5 minutes/ 5-10 minutes/ a year: i can't masturbate, my religion forbids it. that being said: half a second.
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